I first spoke to Itra when we pinged me on social media about her penchant for my articles, around four years ago. Soon we got talking and found out much to our surprise that she lives in the adjacent flat of my building on the same floor. Surprisingly, we have never met as I had just shifted there and she rarely came out of her house and if she did she came out in a burka.
No points for guessing, we soon became very close friends. We bonded over everything, over tea, over the super yum biryani and kebabs. she prepared and over a lot of deep meaningful discussions on varied topics. She hails from Hyderabad and I so loved her dialect and culinary skills apart from her friendly personality.
Itra is a God fearing person who taught me a lot of values, like how patience saves relationships. She is a smart woman who says one must handle tricky situations with wit and smile because it has to anyway pass too. For some years she had done a job in U.S. but now is busy rearing her twin sonny and daughter.
However, what wasn’t right in my eyes was that she did not allow her children to engage in dance and drama or let them out in festivals like Diwali and Holi. With due respect to her religion, I felt she wasn’t doing it right for her children. So if her kids came to my kid’s birthday party they will refrain from dancing and sit in a corner which broke my heart. While both she and her children were so well read as they did not have a T.V. or any other source of entertainment other than books in their home, still their was a major miss. Apart from this, she was very nice, very calm and always very motivating to me.
I felt a responsibility to speak to her on this, even if it could have bitter consequences because I knew she is very very rigid with her thoughts but as a friend and a well wisher, I wanted to. I just waited for the right time to strike the iron when it would be real hot, to mould it my way. One day as we were busy building our fun castles and were lost in a deep discussion, I began telling her how the onus of raising empowered kids lies on our shoulder and we ourselves have to be empowered to lead them by example. I gave examples and told her how her kids are really talented and need better exposure to come out with flying colors and do good in life. The intelligent woman tried to sell me a lot of points which I defeated with logic and love. Religion makes us a better person and helps us evolve with coming times not holds us back. It is mostly our own inhibitions we tried to conceal beyond the so called names.
It took her a while to let the thought sink in and she did summon up the courage to speak up one day. She agreed she needed to change. She felt liberated and decided to walk out of her comfort zone. Highly educated women she took up teaching in her children’s school. Seeing their mom rise and shine the children too bloomed into beautiful flowers and have really shaped up as beautiful extroverts today. The son writes beautifully and the daughter is a beautiful painter. Both of them remain avid readers and are shining stars of the city in lawn tennis.
How just liberation in a mom’s views brought about the renaissance in the family is the message I want to give in this post. The choice undoubtedly lie on us, so get up my dear, be the shining guiding light for your family and for your society. You have it in you!
If you relate to my writings, you can grab a copy of any of my 3 published books here The Fragrance of True Love, Destiny's Favorite Child and Dare to Defy The Destiny
Copyright © 2014-2019 by Roma Gupta Sinha
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If you relate to my writings, you can grab a copy of any of my 3 published books here The Fragrance of True Love, Destiny's Favorite Child and Dare to Defy The Destiny
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