Monday, 16 September 2019

Parental Pressure: Are We Our Kids' Biggest Enemies?

On the day, Ganpati was going this year, that is  on Anant Chaturdashi, Bappa left me with a vital lesson as I chose to watch the movie Chichore that evening. I was in a relaxed mood and totally chilled out with my boys savouring the big tub of popcorns and my favourite mocha when the movie commenced.

But in no time it gripped me as it portrayed a son of two I.I.Tians  mom and dad who were separated. The kid lived with his dad and expected to crack I.I.T exams himself but when he fails, he could not handle the pressure of being called a loser and jumps off from the balcony.

The scene brought my heart into my mouth and my eyes bloated with tears imaging what pressure the young kid would have faced to take such a drastic step. Days before the result came he has started eating very less. In fact he has not taken any vacation for last two years despite his dad’s repeated request. Though his dad is sure he will crack the exam, his mom even tells him it is ok even if he does not get selected.

Who’s at fault then? The kid himself? The parents? Society? I don’t care who is responsible what I care it that the child looses his life and lives in constant fear even when he was alive.

Knowingly or unknowingly ever since our children are small we build pressure on them to get good marks, take several activity classes, compare them with other kids and roll our eyes in distress if they fail. If not we, the relatives, the friends, the society will compare them with their parents or peers and crush their innocence and childhood. At a tender age they hardly understand it but as they grow up they start succumbing to the pressure. Darwinism makes the fittest survive but what about the rest? What about the remaining kids? It breaks my heart to pen that this mad rat race is the most detrimental thing we are doing to our kids.

I would say just let the kids be kids, let them enjoy their childhood. Teach them discipline and values rather than comparison with peers which breeds jealousy. Make them strong individuals so that as they grow up they can decide what field they must pursue. They are lucky enough to have born in the times where they can weave a career out of whatever passion they have. This is also an era of entrepreneurship, teach them risk taking ability, teach them to take failures in their stride and rise from them. Practice makes a man perfect, so keep trying until you succeed. That’s it!

Rest of the time enjoy their childhood as well as let them enjoy their childhood. Weave beautiful memories as these years will never come back again rather than pushing them to classes one after the other. Let them pursue one passion where their hearts are.

A parent should know first if the child is feeling distressed due to any pressure. If yes, we must not wait to do our bit to ease him or her, tell them nothing is more precious to you than them, rest everything can be worked out. Whether the parents are working or one parent stays at home, our relationship with our child should be such that he/she is able to confide his/her thoughts to us. So suppose the kid failed in his maiden attempt to crack I.I.Ts he should be able to discuss it with his parents and chalk out the future plan of action. If he is not, sorry to say but we haven’t done our bit as a parent.

There are a lot of causes when we miss to catch the first signs, one being, we are always glued to technology and are hardly left with anytime to personally interact with our children. In my academy, I often find parents complaining that their children don’t  tell them anything but always share their hearts with me. Why? I am not closer than their parents to them but I listen to them patiently taking out time for them. The time that you give to social media seeing other people’s kids winning medals, steal that time to hone your own progeny. Daily soaps on television won’t enrich you, researching on your kids’ project with him will do. Remember tuition is not a solution for everything.

Don’t reward your child with the most expensive toy or clothes, but with lots of kisses , hugs and your precious time, heart to heart candid tet-a-tete, cracking a joke together, may be shaking a leg if both of you love dancing, or karaoke or travelling together. All these will build his confidence in himself, trust in his relations and strength to combat bad times or failures. Most importantly, don’t compare or put undue pressure!

Dear Friends, do think about it, how can each one of us correct ourself on this!

Truly Yours Roma

If you like what I write, you can grab the copies of my four published books here: The Fragrance of True LoveDestiny's Favorite ChildDare to Defy The Destiny and Empowered Women Empower Women

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Wednesday, 11 September 2019

6 Latest Indo-Western Fashion Trends you can't afford to miss this Festive Season

If you are like me who looks for a perfect amalgamation of latest fashion and comfort to flaunt yourself impeccably on most occasions, then this post is for you. Heavy sarees and traditional suits are mostly not for me as I can’t carry the weight, I instead prefer Indo-western fusion to nail a look to perfection,, topped by minimal yet classy jewellery pieces and other meticulously chosen accessories. Luckily that’s the current fashion trend as well where less is best. Thus in this post, I bring to you the six latest trends in the festive wear category, if Indo-Western fusion is what you love. I am short and plump but all the below six picks will look good on people of all body types.

1.A Satin One Piece Full length Bodycon with matching Shrug: Such an outfit can be flaunted on special occasions both personally and professionally, the subtle colour and the comfort can catch a lot of eyeballs and make you the talk of the town in a very positive way. I find such dresses very feminine, very soothing and absolutely gorgeous to flaunt.  Add heels and a clutch to complete the look. This one is from W for Women. 

2. A Spagetti Strap long party gown with a net Shrug: If you are not averse to little golden or shimmery work on your outfit, then this is the most gorgeous festive wear. The net shrug with gold drops adds further oomph to the outfit. You can style this dress with a net dupatta too if you want to style it differently than with a shrug. It makes you look very fresh and pretty no matter what the occasion is. Accessorise it with copper jewellery and a satchel bag. This one is from Shopper’s Stop.

3. A Sleeveless one piece with a belt at waist and minimal work: If you wish to flaunt a very bright colour like yellow which is the colour of some festivals like Ganesh Chaturthi, go for a sleeveless long dress with belt and minimal self work so that it does not look extra bright. The colour itself will make you glow and will add to your joy and happiness. You can pair it with floral earrings if you wish or light jewellery. A side multicoloured dupatta will also work wonders. I grabbed this one from Global Desi. 

4. A High Neck One-peice Skirt and long Top Dress: The writer in me chose this attire and I loved it at first glance. If you prefer the sober and less flashy look and at the same time look gorgeously different, then these dresses from House of Indya are awesome to look out for. They are also ideal for an award show or our book launches etc. Pearl Jewellery and a watch are the best accessories to pair with it.This blue and pink outfit turned out to be a gorgeous combination for me.

5. A One Piece Saree with a Belt: If you can’t carry the long sari or don’t know how to tie it like me, this one piece classic outfit can serve you the best, looks super elegant and is ideal for all sorts of occasions. Simple and beautiful this one’s from Haute Curry. 

6. A Multi-Purpose Party Gown with a chequered Dupatta: Last but not the least, are my all time favourite silk party gowns which I pair with chequered dupattas for festivals and go without them otherwise. A multicoloured waist coat can also be swapped with the recommended dupatta. A modern designer head gear and long danglers will give you a lovely vibe at whatever event you choose to flaunt these. This one's from Trishaa, Pantaloons.

These were some one my favourite one piece Indo western trends popular currently. Do let me know if you like them or they struck a chord and I would surely love to share my other insights on fashion, a genre I have written the least about 😊. Also, will love to know which one of the above you loved the most.

Truly Yours Roma

If you like what I write, you can grab the copies of my four published books here: The Fragrance of True LoveDestiny's Favorite ChildDare to Defy The Destiny and Empowered Women Empower Women

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Tuesday, 10 September 2019

How relevant it fasting for the long life of our spouse? #FoodForThought Series Vol 15

Aren’t we privileged to have been born in a country with such a rich heritage? Most of us indeed are. Right from our culture to our values we cherish quite a few things we have inherited, including some lovely customs. Celebrations of festivals like Diwali, Holi, Navratri, Karvachauth keep us close to our roots as well as well as weave the otherwise scattered for work, family, together.

For me, I am mix of traditions as well as someone who has a mind of her own. While I celebrate all the festivals, I always ascertain they are not morally regressive and are logical. You will recall I wrote how we have our customised version of Rakshabandhan in our home. Similarly when it comes to fasting for 24 hrs without a drop of water for the long lives of our husbands in festivals like Teej, karvachauth and for our progeny on Ganesh Chauth, with all due respect to our customs  and traditions, I have learnt to place my mind over my heart.

Eventually, it is a matter of our own firm belief. It is not that husbands of women who don’t have these fasts in their customs don’t live long. In my opinion, it is one lovely day you dedicate to your beautiful relation doing special prayers for him, dressing up and spending some wonderful time together strengthening your bond further and praying that you get to spend this priceless life together for long. Simple! Logical! Now why do one of them has to give up eating a single morsel or drinking a drop of water for 24 hours then?

I think if you can do it and if you wish to do it, if it medically doesn’t effect you and if you are under no kind of pressure to do it then it’s fine otherwise I abide by the principle my mother in law taught me more than a decade ago - ‘ ‘Yatha Shakti Yatha Bhakti’ meaning pray to the extend your body permits you. For e.g. I had undergone a surgery recently and I know 24 hours without a drop of water will be too much for my recuperating body, so I did keep the fast, prayed with my spouse, celebrated it with all said traditions but I kept the fast on fruits and water and I intent to continue it like this. A little customisation of the otherwise very difficult fast which even forbids you to sleep in those twenty four hours, shouldn’t be any kind of rule breaking or ill omen.

“I firmly believe God sees my pure heart not my empty belly to accept my prayers”

Customs and traditions are important but they too need revisions and customisations with time. We must take pride in our rich inheritance but at the same time not turn a blind eye to something that we are not comfortable with. A fast called Ganesh Chauth is observed every January in India for the long life of our son, does that mean if I had a daughter I would not pray for her long life or observe this fast. Little amendments are vital and mandatory with gender equality being at the helm of the progress of our society.

One more thing, it is also absolutely fine if you don’t fast, it is your personal choice, it does not effect your relationship with your God. He is not that narrow minded that he will judge you on this. I remember when I used to fast for Sai, every time the chapter where he says he does not recommend fasting at all, came in my read, on the fast days and eventually I started focusing on my clean hearted prayers rather than multiple fasts. Probably he gave me some kind of indications as fasting for long hours has always been detrimental to my systems. I am not against the people who fast for detoxing their bodies or do things like intermittent fasting for health reasons or otherwise too. I am only saying use you brain in whatever you choose to do. God is kind, he is our supreme power, he doesn’t accept our prayers for how many hours we have fasted without food or water but by how pure is our heart and soul that we are devoting to him.

Please remember friends this post is my individual opinion and I don’t intend to hurt anyone’s believes but just want to put across my thoughts firmly. Please do share your viewpoints on how relevant it fasting for you, for the long life of your spouse/progeny?

Have you read our earlier True Tales in the #FoodforThought series? Find them below.

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14. Please find someone else

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Thursday, 5 September 2019

Truly Yours Roma’s Verdict on Mission Mangal

I am undoubtedly late in penning this one but that cannot stop me from writing on those selective movies I wish to give a place on my blog. Last couple of months have been very taxing with regards to a lot of significant decisions which needed to be made along with the recovery from surgery and both my blog baby and my baby, my son have been totally neglected. In fact signing up for my ‘My Friend Alexa’ was an attempt to give some focus to the former. For the latter, his exams ended last Saturday and I kept my promise of a movie date with him that very evening. We zeroed on Mission Mangal as it is a science non-fiction and is inspired by ISRO’s commendable Mars Mission. In the past too, I have meticulously picked up movies, which would make the kiddo learn something at this impressionable age as well as have some fun with popcorns in the theatre.

Honestly speaking the first few negative reviews of the movie on social media did damp my spirits for some time but then I decided to watch it to judge it. I am glad I did and here is a common woman’s review of the movie straight from the heart. Please not that I am not a person who will judge something by its shortfalls rather I will weigh it on its merits.

First and foremost, in my opinion, every Indian must watch this flick, to feel proud of our motherland and its phenomenal space missions so far. Especially do take the children of your house to watch this one, they have so much to learn, so much to enjoy, so much to observe and absorb here. We enjoyed every bit of it and were left hugely motivated. 

The movie is about India’s maiden mission to Mars called M.O.M.S. originally, under tight resources conditions and by chosen few scientists with impeccable intellect and the desire to make things work no matter how hard they get. The climax of the movie where they eventually succeed after a number of hurdles, made each one of us overwhelmed and ecstatic. It was so involving each moment that we really wanted the mission to succeed at the end. It was a weekend, the theatre was full and everyone rejoiced in the moment clapping hard.

I particularly loved Vidya Balan’s beautiful portrayal of a worthy scientist juggling beautifully between her dreams and family. Akshay was as good as ever, I like his simple-heartedness in most of his roles. All other support cast was good, not overdoing their stuff, and there was enough dramatisation in the movie to get it in the Bollywood Commercial segment. Apart from one scene, where Tapsee Pannu learn’s car driving which only God knows why it was inserted in a mass movie, I liked the movie every bit.

The movie is also a fine example of socially relevant topics like women are at par with men at work, birthing a baby cannot stop a woman from achieving her goals, all religions are equal, a revolutionary task always faces rigorous opposition and several others, all packed well.

Appearance of P.M. Narendra Modi at the end of the movie further accentuated our emotions and we left with proud, content and elated hearts. Eventually India had embraced to make movies on worthy subjects with entertainment and educational value complementing each other wonderfully in suitable promotions.

Truly Yours Roma rates Mission Mangal:  ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Truly Yours Roma

If you like what I write, you can grab the copies of my four published books here: The Fragrance of True LoveDestiny's Favorite ChildDare to Defy The Destiny and Empowered Women Empower Women

I am taking my blog to the next level with Blogchatter’s #MyFriendAlexa

Sunday, 1 September 2019

Mindful Meditation with Positive Affirmations

Life undoubtedly is the greatest teacher we have around always keeping a strict watch on us and being savvy of the fact that when we start enjoying the vanity it has granted us and seek pleasure in our stability it plans to put us in our next test.

In fact frankly that’s what we call life. This phenomenon, we call life, is highly unpredictable and volatile. The moment you start enjoying the roots, it uproots you for a new challenge. 

But wisdom lies in not succumbing to it but training our mind to face the challenge affirmatively. 

In this context,  today I bring to you the second  volume of my Mindfulness Meditation Series which is Meditation with Positive Affirmations. You will recall last month I commenced this series with an earnest aim to aid everyone reduce their mental clutter and attain peace and calmness. The first volume was - Mindfulness Meditation Beginners Guide which talked about why, what, where, who and how of meditation from a common man’s perspective. If you are a beginner at it, I recommend you to do read it once and embrace this divine practice. Today we talk of a very beautiful form of meditation which helps us unleashing the great power of our mind in our favour.

It is a well known scientific fact that our body behaves as per the signals it receives from our brain. Mindful Meditation with Positive Affirmations is a strong tool to keeps repeating to our mind each day all that we wish to happen as something which has already happened. Saying loudly or in our mind all the positive things we wish to happen while we are meditating as if they had already happened. It will rid us of all fear and uncertainties and gradually our mind will register what it keeps hearing everyday with so much conviction, to be true. It will send signals to our body accordingly and thus turn all the energy of the universe in our favour. We will thus experience divine healing and our soul shall be free or will learn to manage all the worldly clutter. 

This is also a perfect way to cleanse our mind of all the negative thoughts which surround us thanks to the human nature’s attraction to everything negative around and constantly live in one fear or the other.

Everyday meditate ten minutes to one hour depending on the time you have, the techniques for it are written in the previous volume of this series and if you have only ten minutes, I recommend you give your mind a positive uplift by meditating with positive affirmations. For e.g. you can commence with repeating the ten below simple thoughts or any others out aloud or in your mind with your eyes closed, body relaxed, breath deep and a beautiful smile on your face😊:

I am extremely happy today

I am experiencing great health today

All is extremely fine and beautiful in my world

I feel I am inching towards my goals today and the universe is helping me to achieve them 

I am gifted and I shall use it to aid someone and make this world a better place 

My challenges in life will aid me connect to the higher purpose of my being 

My heart is full of gratitude for all and I give out love and gratitude in abundance 

Nothing will evade my smile today 

No negative thoughts have the power to enter my mind, they will be repelled by my Positive Aura around me I create everyday with the power of my meditation 

I believe in the power of today and will make my today the best 

You can delete or add as many POSITIVE AFFIRMATIONS to this list as you wish and as you will awaken from your deep meditative state which you can achieve by regular practice for around a month, you will experience a different calm and wonderful world around you free from fears and all negativities, full of acceptance and strong enough to embrace life as it comes. 

I send your way lots of healing vibes and abundant love. Do write to me if you have any queries related to Meditation and I will love to help you to my ability best🌸.

Truly Yours Roma

If you like what I write, you can grab the copies of my four published books here: The Fragrance of True LoveDestiny's Favorite ChildDare to Defy The Destiny and Empowered Women Empower Women

I am taking my blog to the next level with Blogchatter’s #MyFriendAlexa

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Tuesday, 27 August 2019 turns 5 ♥️: A Special Blog Birthday Post!

There is someone I have loved a lot unconditionally for the past five years with every breath of mine. It has kept me sane, rejoiced and satiated like no one else. If I had not been able to devote it sufficient time, it hasn’t played any tantrums and waited for me patiently. In moments of happiness it has embraced me with open arms and when in despair it has absorbed by tears silently turning them into positivity and hopeπŸ€—

“It has also been my unique voice to the universe”

When I will be gone I shall forever remain alive in it. All of you can click and will find an ounce of yours truly in each post with my love and best wishes for you and till I am alive of course it will give you more of me each week, each month. Thus it is evident how important it is for me. No matter where I went, what I did, for the past five years it has been the most vital part of my identity and shall remain so till I live. So you know by now that special someone is my dearest and nearest, my breathing space, my blog♥️.

Thus, 28th August always makes me extremely happy. It is the day five years ago ‘Truly Yours Roma’ came into being, before that I blogged as ‘Straight From The Heart’ and it has been my very best friend always since then. While my faith in human ties have never been so strong barring some exceptional ones, my faith in my words has only grown stronger with each passing day and this faith stems from all the love I have got from all of you again through my blog. So party to Banti haiπŸ₯³.

A perfect cake that sums me up courtesy Divya's Baking Classes

Every year I have my own small celebration this day along with it in self introspection of our lives so far and our vision forward. I turn its pages to reflect on and it entices me to let the show go on and on. We talk and giggle for hours giving each other suggestions and accepting and owning all our decisions so far merrily.

In all these years my attraction to it hasn’t faded a bit and my heart still skips a beat when I see it getting awards and accolades and hug it tight. It also keeps me on the path of Karma for it has imbibed in me the discipline and dedication to write down and release my four books in a span of five years, all in extremely adverse circumstances. It gives me the power like nothing else and if by chance it stops working for a few seconds due to technical glitches, my heart dies a million deaths. When our going gets tougher, we get tougher too and don’t succumb to the circumstances.

Twice in a week I meet it in a personal space and we publish our thoughts for our readers. Whether on women empowerment, on meditation, on parenting or lifestyle or fashion or health or my academy or my books, we have together explored each genre meticulously and only given out our pure heart’s voice.

“We complete our five years today, a total of one thousand eight hundred and twenty seven days together and have more than 1.2 million footfalls on our writings so far”

Now, we commence our sixth year together and what a phenomenal journey it had been so far. It has taken us crazy hard-work to make ‘Truly Yours Roma’ a brand it is and as we raise a toast to ourselves today, we thank each one of you for being the part of our journeyπŸ™

Words fail us to express our gratitude to all of you. Do stay with us like this forever and thanks for joining in TYR's Bday Celebrations♥️

Truly Yours Roma

If you like what I write, you can grab the copies of my four published books here: The Fragrance of True LoveDestiny's Favorite ChildDare to Defy The Destiny and Empowered Women Empower Women

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