Thursday, 10 October 2019

A Promise to our Daughters on this International Day of the Girl Child

Today is International Day of the Girl Child and I have never felt this compelled to pen my thoughts. No, I am not going to re-tell the story of the strongest girl I know, for, first I know so many of them, so picking one is impossible and second I have already narrated about so many in my four books The Fragrance of True LoveDestiny's Favorite ChildDare to Defy The Destiny and Empowered Women Empower Women all revolving around Women Empowerment.

The more vital question is how do we do so? We can, by empowering our girls from day one as much as we empower our sons, so eventually we don’t have to have any such international day for a Girl child. By empowering I mean imbibe in them the right attitude to educate themselves and achieve their goals in life, teach them physical power enhancing attributes, don't tell them they are the weaker sex because they are not.

For today I want to step into an Indian girl child's shoes (for I am one, albeit a grown up one but has faced all the music a girl child faces) and want to let the world know what do I seek from not just one such International day but from all of you each day. With due respect to United Nations deciding to celebrate 11th October as Girl child day each year to accentuate focus on her human rights and gender equality, I believe it is something we must channelise our energies in every single day 24X7 if at all we wish to make our world a safe and sane place for all to live happily and peacefully and as the sayings go charity begins at home and each one reach one, if we take the responsibility in our hands, the results will be far more effective.

I can say this, as a girl child born in a backward small town at home..I was unwanted by many because I was a girl and unfortunately there were and are millions others like me till today. As a new born all I wanted then was acceptance into the world and that’s where begins the struggle of an Indian girl which continues at every step until I believe she takes her last breath. I once wrote a poem which goes like this..

When I was born a female child 
I was gifted with the silent onus of proving to the world that giving birth to a girl was not my mom's crime

The first realisation of my childhood
Was to prove to the world I was a girl good

It was not ok for me to soil my clothes
Or scatter my toys when sometimes, to play, I chose

In just a few years, my little brother was born 
I have to now prove to them, what a good sister I was, everyone warned

At that tender age, I probably didn't understand what proving oneself meant 
But gently yet responsibly I held his little finger, everywhere I went 

I grew up a little and the adolescent me 
Was asked not to mingle with boys as what everyone will say in the society 

I did exactly and mended a little girl's ways carefree 
To prove to them that for me nothing is more important than the respect of my family

At thirteen, puberty arrived depriving me forever of my status of being a child 
I accepted it well, proving to the world I was now a person matured

I completed my education with admirable grades
Proving to the world the money spent on me was not wasted

Though finding a dream job was a cake walk 
I have to prove at every step of my professional journey, to my male colleagues, that my skill was at par with theirs

Eyebrows again raised when with my love, I tied knot 
After umpteen years of successful marriage, today I prove to them love marriages too last 

With no support system at home,  when my little baby entered the world
I have to prove my motherhood by giving up all my dreams and ambitions

I did it all and for everyone around
Without a single complaint or sound 

But the world is still not satisfied
They crush my identity each day with pride

After standing strong on the testimonies of time 
And proving myself time and again 

I am now tired of this Proving Myself game 
Ending this perennial dilemma once and for all, I refuse to prove myself to the world anymore.

Please don't Judge me ,
I am what I am!

and unfortunately it holds so true till the present day...

If this International Day of a girl child is potent enough to relieve every little princess of these expectations, levied on them and just let them me, I will truly be happy. Let them live their lives as much as their male counterparts, is it too much too ask?

Well in my perspective why should we even ask for it? We are not requesting anything special but something which is fundamentally ours. We don’t want a celebration and presentation once a year but acceptance as equals everyday, no special favours please. We are what you are, we are not different. If at all you want to give us something give us safety and freedom to act on our own wish.

It’s time to change the rules of the society. Both a girl child and a boy child should be equal to their parents. They must educate and love them equally. Never think your son will take care of you and you will marry off your daughter. Make them both capable of standing on their feet and take care of you like you did of them.

One thing for sure each one of us can do on this special day dedicated to us by UN and that’s to pledge to make our daughters be their own voice and be fiercely independent. Teach them life skills, sports and martial arts and strong will power to fight for themselves and not seek support no matter how adverse the circumstances become. 

This is what life has taught me as I yearn to become a better and better girl child each day. In a new city, new house, all alone I remind myself I still remember by karate kicks if at all I need it tonight.

This attitude is what I seek in our daughters and call out to all of you to yearn and inculcate in our little angels. Pledge to give  them both physical and mental power this International Day of the Girl Child!

Truly Yours Roma

Written for #CauseAChatter on #InternationalDayoftheGirlChild

Tuesday, 8 October 2019

Pure Love Can Move Mountains

Hey everyone, a warm hello to you from Delhi. Trust you must be soaking yourself in the festivities till brim. This year festivals have come in with a settling phase for me. Though amidst Ganpati in Pune and now Navratri, Dussehra and Diwali in Delhi, I have another reason to rejoice and that’s my birthday which always falls within. No matter how morose I feel due to leaving my Pune after  spending eight beautiful years there, I can’t escape Delhi’s Midas Touch that takes me back to the lanes of nostalgia. So yeah after sulking for a week, feeling sick, here I am once again bubbling in energy and my cheerful spirit. 

This was my simplest birthday ever. I have a habit of being surrounded by my friends and /or going on a staycation or a vacation with my boys, cutting multiple cakes, partying hard but this one was most different. Our stuff arrived from Pune a day before my birthday and so no points for guessing what I was doing in between attending your calls which were barely audible due to a perennial network issue in our Delhi home. Loved the Whatsapp video calls thing though which made me connect with so many of you and start smiling back gradually and get back to life. 

Well, first thanks goes to my little boy who made a beautiful card with so many messages for me, he was the first one to wish me too after I woke up but mister husband says he has when I was sleeping, their fight over the claim still continues 😊. Got a lot of priceless hugs and kisses from him the whole day, my treasures forever. A cake, flowers, chocolates and a teddy bear delivered unexpectedly took me by surprise.That was hubby’s way of warming me up for the evening surprise date and I loved the whole celebration with my two lifelines first at home and then at a place with which we have a lot of memories of our dating days attached♥️.

The dinner date further did the trick and I was smiling and posing and enjoying to the brim. The birthday celebrations continued the next day with us visiting the Jagannath temple to celebrate Dussehra and then another birthday bash at another old adda of ours in Cannaught Place. Savouring the best food of Delhi satiated and made the foodie in me smile and I remembered my last poem, life is beautiful and I move on.

A peep into my phone time and again and some lovely wishes from all of you further accentuated my excitement and while I have not been able to write much for the past few days, I once again wanted to pen and to begin with my mandatory gratitude to all of you, my precious friends, family and readers, Thank you for taking our those precious time for this tiny mortal and blessing me on my birthday. Pure love has the power to move mountains and you do that magic to me. 

Words fail me to express my gratitude to all of you!

Truly Yours Roma

If you like what I write, you can grab the copies of my four published books here: The Fragrance of True LoveDestiny's Favorite ChildDare to Defy The Destiny and Empowered Women Empower Women

Life Is Beautiful And I Move On

What makes you grow
is being thrown out of your comfort zone
I still believe, life is beautiful
and I move on...

testing times commence
and never cease to end
to them I say, life is beautiful
and I move on

2019 has been a tough nut to crack
destiny decides to test us completely in just one slot
exhausted yet smiling I repeat, life is beautiful
and I move on

sometimes loneliness engulfs and I find no shoulder to lean
as for the moment relocating has made me abandon my work, my academy
this too shall pass, I trust, life is beautiful
and I move on

This beautiful morn as I meditated by my garden in my new home
I have experienced an amazing uplift
I again spread my wings and reiterate beautiful is life
and I move on

Life is a peculiar enigma
It is unbelievably layered for us to try to fathom its depth
But it is beautiful indeed
and I move on

Know not what tomorrow has in store for me
But I am sure it is going to be amazing
In this hope, I trust today that life is beautiful
and I move on........♥️

Truly Yours Roma

If you like what I write, you can grab the copies of my four published books here: The Fragrance of True LoveDestiny's Favorite ChildDare to Defy The Destiny and Empowered Women Empower Women

Thursday, 26 September 2019

My(Roma Gupta Sinha's) 4 Published Books, For You, at a Glance

In 2014, I gave birth to my blog with a stringent purpose, I have always wanted to be the voice of the women around me whom I have seen crumbling under patriarchy and the unfortunate superstitious traditions in India. I wanted to bring their stories to light to prick as many conscience as possible and let the people understand their folly. This was the least I would do then for and be the face of positive change in whatever miniature way I could. Later of course after winning the coveted Woman of the Year in 2015 and starting my own academy I became a full time Women Empowerment Crusader. This is the major cause I associate my life with thus obviously all four of my books published so although of different genres have Women Empowerment at their core. These book babies are not only my assets but also four precious pieces of my heart. I have weaved them straight from my heart in the picturesque suburbs of my favourite city Pune which incidentally I am abandoning day after tomorrow to create a new life and a new abode at a new place. Since I always count my blessings as I move on, today I bring you a glimpse of these books of mine. 

1. Dare to Defy the Destiny (Published in 2016, genre Non-Fiction): This was my first release ever and is special in the sense that it brings forth 26 real stories of Indian Women who heart wrenchingly impact us deeply and inspire us to do our bit to bring about an era or positive change. I know all of these ladies personally and have promised them to do my bit for them to the best of my abilities. This, with a purpose book,  thus is extremely crucial. Though I am very bad at marketing, I have received innumerable messages from the people who have read it that they could find themselves or a near one in these stories and have absolutely loved the book and have related to every ounce of it. You can grab a copy of the same here.

2. The Fragrance of True Love(Released in 2017, genre Fiction): Come 2017, the passionate story teller in me wanted to weave fiction and out came a saga known as ‘The Fragrance of True Love’. It’s a tale of a very sweet girl Priyam who has a very traumatic past, thus she finds it extremely difficult to embrace the love of unassuming and caring Meer who fills all the voids of her heart. Well, a chicklet romance does really well in India and this book climbed a lot of best seller charts. What is important is, this book too gives a very strong message to humanity. You can grab a copy of this book here.

3. Destiny’s Favourite Child, Released in 2018, genre Autobiography): In 2018, one of my friends expressed him desire to publish my biography. I earnestly accepted his request and wrote for him. When my bestie saw the draft she was very sure that  I should be the one publishing my autobiography as first person and no one else, thus I took permission from the one for whom I have originally created the manuscript. That’s how DFC was born which has various unbelievable slices of my life right from the day I was chosen to be thrown on a dustbin as I was born a girl child to be felicitated with the Planet’s Pride Award in 2018 for my work. You can grab a copy of this precious piece of my heart here.

4.Empowered Women Empower Women( Released in 2019, genre Motivational Books): In 2019, my academy was high on women who took admission to give wings to their dreams no matter how difficult it was for them, they were ready to turn the tide of time in their favour and just needed the right direction to succeed. My only Moto was that as an empowered women I empower them by grooming them and guiding them towards their goals. In this book I have put together the real tales of such remarkable women who are an example to a billion others. I want every one to read them and derive inspiration from them. This is the reason I have kept this book free. You can find a copy here and also feel free to gift a copy to someone you know who would need this. 

If you want any further information on any of these books or want me to send you a copy, please feel free to write to me at or direct message me on any of my social media handle or a contact form on this blog.

Truly Yours Roma

If you like what I write, you can grab the copies of my four published books here: The Fragrance of True LoveDestiny's Favorite ChildDare to Defy The Destiny and Empowered Women Empower Women

I am taking my blog to the next level with Blogchatter’s #MyFriendAlexa

Wednesday, 25 September 2019

Mindfulness Meditation for Deep Relaxation, the Cleansing Wind Way (Vol 3)

I am a banker’s daughter, we were transferred to a new city, mostly a new state too, every three years, so adaptability came easy to me as a kid but I always missed my friends and the home which we left behind. Till the present day I have fond memories of each of the places I grew up in whether it was Trichy in TamilNadu or Makrana in the interiors of Rajasthan or several others.. every place has added to whatever I am today and has enriched me.

When I grew up the scenes were similar, first I travelled for my education then for my job both nationally and internationally but one fine day I settled in Pune some eight years ago. This precious city which has my heart has been home since. I love everything about it and it really hurts to leave it behind.

These days are difficult thus, though I am crazily busy with a million things which come up while relocating yet my love for this serene simple city often wells up in my eyes. If you have been reading me you know how much I love my morning nature walks everyday in the picturesque suburbs. So this morning setting aside my todo list I sat out for a long walk with a meditation break in between under my favourite tree but my heart was heavy. The beautifully falling raindrops caressed my face and asked me to cheer up. The tree under which I sat, took me in it’s warm embrace and I felt it smiled to me. I closed me eyes to meditate and after a lot of cajoling my mind attained peace and calmness soaking in the moment. 

I was mindful of my today, of the moment, of the cool breeze that touched me, of the chirping of the birds, of the sunlight that played peek a boo with the clouds who smiled in happiness and showered occasional rain. There was nothing else I remembered between my deep breathing and soon I was lost in a beautiful world. Several minutes later when I opened my eyes, I felt deep peace and immense positivity that I still have three more days in this gorgeous city and that I will surely come back to it some day, my home is here and I am also leaving a piece of my heart here.

So this is the power of meditation I keep stressing to all of you. Remember I have written the Mindfulness Meditation Beginners Guide as well as Meditation with Positive Affirmations in my previous volumes of this series. Today the kind of mediation I talked about is called Mindfulness Meditation for Deep Relaxation, the Cleansing Wind Way where you let your thoughts to wander and meander and then gradually drift away in your sub-conscious conferring in you acceptance of whatever situation you are and is bothering you. It prepares your mind to embrace optimism and look positively towards what is coming and thus living your today to the best. 

At no point we must forget that mind is the centre of all the activities our body performs. If you don’t train it well and keeps it on your control then it is powerful enough to take control over you and in a big way. Depressive thoughts, sadness, pain are all situations when we are not able to exercise our control over our brain and train it adequately. Thus every human being must ensure good health of our brain too and make it prone to least stress edict looks so impracticable in today’s era, thus it is good to relax it, calm it, train it and aid it achieve peace by meditating everyday at least for fifteen minutes. 

All those who has written to me that they find it very difficult to practice, I would say it is pure inertia and it doesn’t happen over night. Start practice for 2 minutes first then gradually increase by son minutes each time, sit or lie down at the most comfortable place and choose a time when you won’t be disturbed. Play some soothing music, refer to the first volume of this series for step by step guidance. If you still face difficulty send we a message, will be extremely happy to aid.

Truly Yours Roma

If you like what I write, you can grab the copies of my four published books here: The Fragrance of True LoveDestiny's Favorite ChildDare to Defy The Destiny and Empowered Women Empower Women

I am taking my blog to the next level with Blogchatter’s #MyFriendAlexa

Thursday, 19 September 2019

Life is a journey whose itinerary is decided by God

I first came to Delhi to reunite with my love, my now husband in 2005 thus resigning from Tata Motors and joining Honda Siel Cars India. A few months later we got married in our early twenties and Delhi embraced this new bride with open arms. We enjoyed our initial years to their full in Saadi Dilwaali Dilli and soon it became home. We bought our first home together here and our little sunshine was born here in 2009. We weaved a million precious memories of our lives here and thus it remains most special to us, also in terms of growing professionally. This is the place which lay the foundation of our marital bliss as well as our professional excellence. We travelled globally for work but remained stationed in NCR despite of the safety and pollution issues which jolted us and became my biggest fears.

In December 2011, Shobhi took us to Pune, a place where we used to dream of settling when we were here for our summer training during engineering sixth sem. Pune was love at first glance for me, beautiful, simple and a peaceful city, very safe and pure. It appealed the recluse in me every which way. I enjoyed the proximity of nature far away from the grandeur and pomp and show of Delhi. Gradually S got soaked in his work and little one started growing up as a true nice and good at heart Puneite. I was happy running my academy and doing my bit for women empowerment through my blog and otherwise. We had bought our new home and it will be ready in six months and Pune was now our home for eight long years when Delhi has called us back. This is what we all term destiny.

Honestly, I don’t know I should be happy or sad what I know is we can’t stay away from S. God uproots us the moment we start feeling rooted to a place though I have a firm belief in the fact that whatever happens,  happens for one’s good. I am happy for S for his professional growth and our little boy for his academic growth by being selected here in a premier institute but there is something which holds me back, perhaps it is my love for Pune. It is a place I can live my entire life without a word of complaint. It has my friends who are now family whom I fear I can’t live without. It is not that I dislike Delhi, it has my roots too and some real genuine friends. Also I understand our life is a journey whose itinerary is written by Almighty, so I am going with the flow😊

Thus, I will be shifting again to Delhi this month end and weave a new life here. Our shifting with the spouse got finalised only yesterday and so I have lots to plan and execute as I understand shifting base is an humongous task. But yes I promise, if not anywhere else you will always find me here on my blog, my live diary, my breathing space, wherever you will miss this tiny mortal.

Truly Yours Roma

If you like what I write, you can grab the copies of my four published books here: The Fragrance of True LoveDestiny's Favorite ChildDare to Defy The Destiny and Empowered Women Empower Women

I am taking my blog to the next level with Blogchatter’s #MyFriendAlexa

Monday, 16 September 2019

Parental Pressure: Are We Our Kids' Biggest Enemies?

On the day, Ganpati was going this year, that is  on Anant Chaturdashi, Bappa left me with a vital lesson as I chose to watch the movie Chichore that evening. I was in a relaxed mood and totally chilled out with my boys savouring the big tub of popcorns and my favourite mocha when the movie commenced.

But in no time it gripped me as it portrayed a son of two I.I.Tians  mom and dad who were separated. The kid lived with his dad and expected to crack I.I.T exams himself but when he fails, he could not handle the pressure of being called a loser and jumps off from the balcony.

The scene brought my heart into my mouth and my eyes bloated with tears imaging what pressure the young kid would have faced to take such a drastic step. Days before the result came he has started eating very less. In fact he has not taken any vacation for last two years despite his dad’s repeated request. Though his dad is sure he will crack the exam, his mom even tells him it is ok even if he does not get selected.

Who’s at fault then? The kid himself? The parents? Society? I don’t care who is responsible what I care it that the child looses his life and lives in constant fear even when he was alive.

Knowingly or unknowingly ever since our children are small we build pressure on them to get good marks, take several activity classes, compare them with other kids and roll our eyes in distress if they fail. If not we, the relatives, the friends, the society will compare them with their parents or peers and crush their innocence and childhood. At a tender age they hardly understand it but as they grow up they start succumbing to the pressure. Darwinism makes the fittest survive but what about the rest? What about the remaining kids? It breaks my heart to pen that this mad rat race is the most detrimental thing we are doing to our kids.

I would say just let the kids be kids, let them enjoy their childhood. Teach them discipline and values rather than comparison with peers which breeds jealousy. Make them strong individuals so that as they grow up they can decide what field they must pursue. They are lucky enough to have born in the times where they can weave a career out of whatever passion they have. This is also an era of entrepreneurship, teach them risk taking ability, teach them to take failures in their stride and rise from them. Practice makes a man perfect, so keep trying until you succeed. That’s it!

Rest of the time enjoy their childhood as well as let them enjoy their childhood. Weave beautiful memories as these years will never come back again rather than pushing them to classes one after the other. Let them pursue one passion where their hearts are.

A parent should know first if the child is feeling distressed due to any pressure. If yes, we must not wait to do our bit to ease him or her, tell them nothing is more precious to you than them, rest everything can be worked out. Whether the parents are working or one parent stays at home, our relationship with our child should be such that he/she is able to confide his/her thoughts to us. So suppose the kid failed in his maiden attempt to crack I.I.Ts he should be able to discuss it with his parents and chalk out the future plan of action. If he is not, sorry to say but we haven’t done our bit as a parent.

There are a lot of causes when we miss to catch the first signs, one being, we are always glued to technology and are hardly left with anytime to personally interact with our children. In my academy, I often find parents complaining that their children don’t  tell them anything but always share their hearts with me. Why? I am not closer than their parents to them but I listen to them patiently taking out time for them. The time that you give to social media seeing other people’s kids winning medals, steal that time to hone your own progeny. Daily soaps on television won’t enrich you, researching on your kids’ project with him will do. Remember tuition is not a solution for everything.

Don’t reward your child with the most expensive toy or clothes, but with lots of kisses , hugs and your precious time, heart to heart candid tet-a-tete, cracking a joke together, may be shaking a leg if both of you love dancing, or karaoke or travelling together. All these will build his confidence in himself, trust in his relations and strength to combat bad times or failures. Most importantly, don’t compare or put undue pressure!

Dear Friends, do think about it, how can each one of us correct ourself on this!

Truly Yours Roma

If you like what I write, you can grab the copies of my four published books here: The Fragrance of True LoveDestiny's Favorite ChildDare to Defy The Destiny and Empowered Women Empower Women

I am taking my blog to the next level with Blogchatter’s #MyFriendAlexa