When Her Little Sunshine Asked Her To Get Back To Her Dreams But The World Was Not Ready To Accept Her ( #FoodForThought Vol-11)

It was Swarnima's first day at work after a six year self imposed hiatus and clad in a turquoise shirt and a white trouser she stood in the metro among the milling crowd hurrying to their destinations. But she was quiet and perhaps very conscious, engulfed by a perpetual self doubt of not being in touch with the industry for a devastatingly long period.

She was far better in the morn waking up her eight year old princess Saisha and her husband Anmol implanting a kiss on their foreheads each, hurriedly, after preparing their dabbas of lunch and then quickly readying herself. The couple had decided to take a stroll to the sector 10 metro station of Dwarka to board for their respective offices after dropping the little one to the school and hence they started fifteen minutes early.

Swarnima was a brilliant and confident woman with a wonderful heart. She had experienced the zenith of success before she had decided to give it all up to nurture her little lily. It was a thoughtful decision she has taken after a lot of contemplation of what her heart desires and what was best for her family at that point of time without any support. She could no more rely on maids for her kiddo and more so because both she and her husband had travel based jobs.

Six years with the little one were absolute bliss and as she was, she gave her best in the role of the mother too. It's only when her little sunshine asked her to get back to her dreams did she prepare herself to start all over again. She reworked on her CV and polished it to the tee and mind it, it did look impressive from multiple angles except for the gap which was aided by the most valid reason conferred on her by God as a blessing. She was meticulous in her preparations, she brushed the latest in her field and worked on her weight to look as presentable as she did before.

A couple of interviews did immediately come her way and her daughter and husband were very supportive in all the efforts she undertook to nail them. Her happiness though was ephemeral. While the interviews went fine she only got rejection as a reply and for two long years this became a routine. The organisations though impressed with her achievements would often offend her sanctity by asking personal intruding questions like...

Are you planning a second child? Incase you have a second child will you again take a sabbatical of six years?

...and so on. She was so tired of being judged. Motherhood now felt like a crime. One day out of frustration, she rebuked all such people publically on LinkedIn on their appalling behaviour. While the post went viral in just a couple of hours, she was astonished to find there were thousands who were in the same boat. 

Also, that very day, her ex-boss invited her to join his new organisation which she willingly accepted. She was overwhelmed she has won one battle and was readying herself to face the world, she had quit one day.

Her doubts were obvious and she didn't realize when she reached her stop. Shirking all the pessimistic thoughts, she held her head firmly on her shoulders and decided to focus only on the road that lied ahead. As she entered the reception, she adorned herself with her most precious jewel, her smile and completed the joining formalities. Her boss and her team welcomed her with open arms and she owe them a lifetime of gratitude for being so good to her.

Though she resumed at a position and a salary she had left, in no time with her impeccable command on her tasks and ability to work better than the best, she climbed the ladder of success managing well at home too with the two loves of her life trying their best to balance out the pressure on her.

A little warmth, a little love and a little acceptance only makes this world a better place for her.

(This is a fictional adaptation of a real tale,  true for so many of us and holding a deeper lesson than what it says)

I am taking My Alexa Rank to the next level with #MyFriendAlexa, My current Global Alexa Rank is: 213669
Also, linking this post to #FridayReflections by Sanch Vee and Everydaygyaan.com

Have you read our earlier True Tales in the #FoodforThought series? Find them below.

My Precious Baby, My Blog TrulyYoursRoma.com Turns Three Today

Life is an artist's blank canvas

Where he paints his desire through multiple strokes of brush

A writer is an artist too

Who paints a masterpiece through his words

When scribbling on bits and pieces didn't satiate my heart

I decided to create my own sacred space of soulful words woven into beautiful forms

Some years ago, I thus gave birth to my beloved baby, my blog

And began my journey to bring on paper with what all my brain was clogged

Initially it took baby steps, gradual yet very strong and firm

While I continued to muse and amuse, with words straight from my heart

I nurtured it with all my love

It always remained and will remain the most precious piece of my heart

I worked harder and it carved its own unique niche

And did I say all the words of the universe shall fail me express my gratitude to its readers

All your notes of appreciation

Boosted the morale of my tiny toddler

Every time it was felicitated and honoured

My heart was swollen with immense pride like a mother

Whenever the tide of time turned against me

I turned to it and found great solace in its company

It gave me friends of a lifetime, it gave me my identity

It became my voice on multiple issues of humanity

Today it is three and we know we have miles to go before we sleep

But I need to say this I value you and love you infinite times to the moon and back my baby!

Linking this post to #MondayMusings on EverydayGyaan.com

Expanding My Horizon and Spreading My Wings as I Approach My Third Blog Anniversary

I am too overwhelmed and elated writing to you today. It was only last week that I was speaking to you on my void of inspiration and how it always holds some deep meaning for me, every time it lingers on. Though it hurts  a lot for the period I am under its spell, sooner or later, thankfully I am able to quench my heart's desire and hear its voice.

So this time too, seeking answers I was all over the place in the last few days with my mind savouring everything with great delight and satiating my creative instincts and cravings...

I was at the fabulous Women Writer's Fest organised by SheThePeople.TV. A company of like minded souls and some brilliant speakers eminent in various fields relieved my soul's thirst. I felt like I should keep on hearing them, their inspiration tales, their journeys and I did exactly that for the entire day assimilating the wisdom that has enriched and humbled them over the years. Their were many who left a lasting impression on my mini psyche. During the entire event I kept patting my back for attending this event despite of several odds. I also met Kiran Manral, one of my most favorite Indian Writers and found the Midas Touch of the goodness of her soul, deeply uplifting. While words fail me what I assimilated that day, I knew I fathomed some of the deepest secrets of leaving your mark.

The icing on the cake was attending Blogchatter's Meet Up just a couple of days later and my, I didn't know till then that how much I felt a part of Blogchatter. We were like a bunch of 12-15 bloggers and what fun we had. Such concrete discussions shared with utmost personal anecdotes already weaved us into a beautiful family in just a couple of hours. It was a extremely rainy afternoon and we ended it up with a sumptuous lunch and taking umpteen pictures. I rushed home and ensured I connected to the entire gang immediately. It didn't feel many of us met for the first time. I really understood the power of community this day no matter how small of big it is and I owe a truckload of gratitude to Richa Singh, the founder of Blogchatter for integrating us impeccably.

The two events left me sleepless. While #WomenWritersFest exposed me to the wonderful universe of discovering the best avenues to fulfil my dreams, blogchatter taught me how to weave together worthy bits and pieces to weave your nest to recognition. My biggest realisation came in the form of an endeavour to expand my horizon now. I understood just writing like five hundred odd articles isn't enough, you have to work on enhancing your visibility no matter at whichever milestone you are, contentment will only lead to stagnation...it needed to be figured our what's hit and what's a miss for you, for your immediate family of readers. Working hard does help you but working hard in the right direction often does the trick. A perfect mix of versatility and building your unique content in your niche often makes you stand out of the rest.

I know you would say we are writers not advertisers or promoters but so am I peeps and I have faced what you do. I have carried the hard copy of my latest published book which I love to the moon and back in my bag for several events where my friends  would have loved to promote it but you see I sail in the same boat as you do, I just didn't pull it out. With every single reviewer on Amazon, Goodreads or Twitter has rating this book nothing less than 4 stars and book clubs are still approaching me for a massive launch, I always feel it is not my cup of tea. 

But If I can write a book, why can't I market it?

So this year,  I have eventually decided to come out of my comfort zone and break the shell I have built around me for years. I shall indeed yearn to expand my horizon and hopefully will yield some extraordinary results. It's high time I spread my wings and take the flight fearlessly.

A Void That Inspires Me

I have a problem with the people who brag about all that they have been doing for their children and all the sacrifices they have made, for I strongly feel it is vice versa. Instead, we are blessed to have our little angels in our lives and should be absolutely grateful to the Almighty for conferring them to us. It's absolutely our discretion how we choose to raise them with no particular way being right or wrong and no one in this universe has the right to judge us.

In my case, it  was entirely my decision to become a SAHM when my little sonny turned two for I realised my twenty-days-a-month travel based job left me with little room to give him the right kind of foundation. He was grasping too quick and mostly spoke in a crude Haryanvi dialect his nanny conversed in. 

My assignment then was my dream job so I took a while to decide but once I did I was quite sure of what I am doing. We had decided to bear the child, so we must rear him perfectly too and with no family support, it was either of us who had to do it... 

...and earnestly speaking, I am glad that I did it for I wanted to spend these precious years with him as much as he probably needed his mom and though a thorough rollercoaster our journey so far has been too beautiful and precious. I love being too absorbed in giving him strong wings to take a flight of his choice in his future and with the husband giving him all the love and the time he craved for most when I was miserably juggling between mommyhood and my job.

For all the time that's left, I have my wonderful blog to stimulate my intellect and make me a part of the brilliant blogging community who have now become my second family. Thus barring a few routine hiccups, actually 

I have every reason to be happy and content, but unfortunately, how I wished things could have been this simple. 

There is a hurting void in my heart which I can't explain in words, which keeps on re-visiting me for no reason. It grips me hard, makes me loose interest in everything and become extremely irritable. On those days, I just feel very fatigued and sick and give up everything even including writing which is my life and soul. I find it difficult to hit back and cry multiple times a day. It feels very empty and meaningless within. I try avoiding people or any social interaction and this was precisely the reason I had to pull out of the coveted WTFOW this year but could not explain anyone the reason so I tried to veil it under my lethargy. It may have stemmed up  from doing a corporate job for 22 hours a day for over a decade across multiple countries to staying at home and often getting caught of in the mundane traps , I have completed the whole gamut of roles but I am not sure if this is the cause.

It may as well be a need for self validation as the kiddo is growing up. Surprisingly, my chronic fibroid pain also peaks about this time. I tried speaking to S but in all probability could not explain myself for he felt only I can help myself in this, which by the grace of my lord I do after a few days.

I don't know how but every time when the pain of the void becomes unbearable, it becomes my inspiration and makes me strike back harder and better for the time just passed has made me contemplate and evaluate a lot of things on my plate. The plot of my recent book 'The Fragrance of True Love' occurred to me during one of these spells. Currently I am bearing one such void again but am convinced to believe this too shall pass. And until I defeat this void completely, I shall call it my void of inspiration which urges me each time to fill it by doing something better and bigger.

Linking this post #MondayMusings on EverydayGyaan.com

If you Perceive Me to be an Emotionless Hard Rock, No I am Not ( #FoodForThought Series Vol-10)

I shun it away

But an emptiness engulfs me

I shoo the void 

But it leaves me feeling more deprived

I yearn to fight

As a lonely tear drops down my eye in the middle of night 

What am I searching for 

When I am abandoned by my own silhouette

You can call me a paranoid but despite being the youngest of the four siblings, my plate has always been full of responsibilities and though I don't know how good and bad I am at them, I have given my life, my heart and soul to them.

I am a girl all of 28 and no I am not here to chant my grievances but to paint the picture of my side for I am so tired of being judged. My middle class childhood was fun and though my dream to become a doctor was muffled amidst the financial crisis as my parents choose to marry off we three sisters in due course and educate our only brother to become a doctor. 

No complaints there, that's how it mostly was in the semi-urban households and I was elated to complete my post graduation with flying colours and took up a decent job in NCR where also my brother practiced successfully and stayed with his wife and toddler. My two elder sisters were already married and I was the youngest and the most pampered one remaining when destiny struck and my only brother was murdered brutally by the petrified relatives of a patient whose life could not be saved, right in front of my eyes. I yelled and screamed with tears blinding me as something inside me died forever that day, perhaps my faith in Almighty.

Recalling those moments still sends shivers down my spine where I ran from pillar to post in the hope that my brother could be saved but such was the mob they took him away for no fault of his. My parents couldn't bear the shock and our beautiful nest got tattered indiscriminately that night and life has not been the same for anyone of us after that. I took my family's responsibilities on my shoulder and though I could not be their lost son but I yearned day in and day out to get them out of their pain. Their silent love and support kept me steady on my path.

Some years later giving in to elders' insistence, I tied knot with a wonderful human being who didn't have his family and thus he warmly welcomed mine like his own, into our home sweet home. Thus my parents started living with us as they were old and sick and needed rigorous medical attention which wasn't there in our hometown. My husband loved me a lot and I was overwhelmed by his goodness, after a long long time, I felt life is beautiful. He supported me the best he could and had his own take on the way life has treated him. Soon we were blessed with our little bundle of joy, our tiny munchkin.

Motherhood was precious and it increased my responsibility further along with my job and ailing parents. Rarely did I get any time for myself or the poor spouse. I knew it but was trapped in vicious circle of life. The husband has started to stay quiet and I have safely assumed that he probably was giving me space in my overworked routine. Dad was by this time in and out of the hospital for his severe lung infection and since mom could not walk due to her severe artharitis, I had to manage it all until one day I lost dad too. Another piece of my heart broke that day as my dad, my hero rested in peace but I didn't shed a single tear and performed all the rituals like a rock. 

Amidst all this I didn't realize, my man, whom I had unknowingly ignored and who had only me in the name of family, has gradually sunk into irreversible depression. Another bout of repentance embraced me for I had failed as a wife to fulfil my duties. He soon lost his high profile MNC job and is still under heavy anti-depressants. Though cyclically out of his depressive spells and trying to focus in his new job, his body and mind often gives in under the medication with possibly several side effects. Thus the financial onus of our household is now entirely on me and I now try to seek work even on Sundays for some extra income. 

Mom's health has further deteriorated and she tries her best to manage our little son but the inability to walk restricts her majorly. My sisters who live far away, can only remotely help. I am still running insanely whole day trying my best to fulfil all my responsibilities to the tee but I know I am not able to and I deeply worry if the next neglected soul is going to my little sonny who is growing up silently in some corner of our house.

Earnestly I know it all but don't know how to escape the turmoil I am in. People by now perceive me to be an emotionless hard rock who barely smiles or emotes, but the fact is I am not. It's just that I am overtly stressed and messed up to do good for everyone which too unfortunately I am unable to do.It hurts me deep within beyond repair. I wanna yell on top of my voice and say I need love, care and warmth, too, to fuel my engine to run our world but whom should I say it to. I really don't know where and when did I go wrong? 

So I put it out to you world, please give me an answer and show me the way ahead...Please help me.

This is a true story of a wonderful human being (whose voice we felt compelled to share on Truly Yours Roma) who is seeking an answer, request you to share what would you have done in such a situation.

Have you read our earlier True Tales in the #FoodforThought series? Find them here.

An InLinkz Link-up

Letting Go and Living With Memories

My Precious Friends and Readers, I am overtly delighted today to host a guest post from an eminent writer and a very dear friend Purba Chakraborty on Truly Yours Roma. We are connected through our words which ooze out straight from our hearts and oh my what a topic she chose ~ Memories. Here's what she has to say...
                                              
                                

“It’s the first Sunday of August. She looks outside the window, inhaling the petrichor and savoring the symphony of rain. From far away, the song “Phir le Aya Dil” can be heard interweaved with the drizzling sound. She feels a pull at the tug of her heart, as if someone is luring her to drown in the sea of memories. She tries to resist and distract her mind with work deadlines. She starts counting one to ten. Yet, a drop of tear escapes her eyes as she gives in to the pull.”

Memories can be perceived as a treasure or torture, depending on the way we see it. The best thing about memories is that we have the entire right to them, even if the person who pictures in the memory doesn’t feel the same way for us. Memories don’t change. Just like wine, they get better as we preserve them.

As beautiful and unconditional our relationship can be with memories, the same cannot be often said about the person who features in them. More than once in life, we have to let go of someone with whom we have weaved the most beautiful memories of life. Letting go is an art of life, which is necessary for our well being and sanity.

Here are some instances when it is better to let go and live with memories:

·         You are with the person and yet you constantly think of past memories, reminiscing how things were beautiful once upon a time. It is a clear indication that the relationship is dead and all that remains are crystallized memories.

·         Sometimes, we love the connection we have with someone more than the person. A slight change in the person’s behavior makes us feel restless and sad. In such a case, it is better to be happy with the good memories that we have created with the person.

·         Change is the only constant. Human beings often outgrow each other. If the person changes to a huge degree and we cannot tune in with his/her change, it’s better to let go than complaining. Sometimes, when we grow in life, we also tend to grow apart.

·         Your feelings are not reciprocated in the way you had wished. Instead of compelling the person to feel the same for you, it’s better to let go and live with the memories. You have complete right to your feelings and memories; not even a slightest bit on someone else’s feelings.

If a person cheats you or treats you badly, there is no question of preserving their memories. Just like we delete the not-so-good pictures from our gallery, we should do the same for the memories in our heart. A detox is needed from time to time. The purpose of memories is to make us feel better and give us strength. And when the separation is because of death, the only thing that remains with us is memories that even God cannot steal. This shows the power of memories. The best memories stay unaffected, even in calamities and death.

In my latest novel, “Canvas of a mind”, there is a quote on memories. Although it is a psychological mystery novel, it also delves into interpersonal relationships.

**********A Guest Post By Purba Chakraborty on Truly Yours Roma***********

We Wish Purba a mega success of her latest book, 'Canvas Of A Mind'! I am loving it, watch out this space for the review of the same, coming up shortly.

Flaunt Your Euphoria : Shine and Gleam and Enhance Your Sheen

Hola Lovelies! Today on Truly Yours Roma I have for you a post in my beauty segment...

I literally love to glitter on all occasions and thus though I have a well laid regime to keep my skin naturally healthy and glowing(we'll get to it some other day), I meticulously choose the makeup I wear, which necessarily does not interfere with my skin composition and lustre. Until and unless it is a very special ceremony where I like the shimmery enhanced makeup matching up subtly to my outfit, I like to keep my make up natural with the following must haves  which I find indispensable for a party and sometimes otherwise too. All of these are readily available on all the leading Online Shopping Portals but my experience says order it from more reliable ones like Myntra as almost all of these products come with an expiry and so the fresher piece you get the better.

1. Foundation: While I love to wear my confidence, I feel I enhance the same by giving my skin a finer and fairer even tone with applying foundation made for my complexion. This enables the makeup to not look a tad heaped on a different skin tone in a mismatched manner. Lately,  I have started using honey based foundation and I really feel it is as a product will bring renaissance in the cosmetic industry for it leaves my sensitive skin so soft and supple. 

2. Compact: I use a matte finish compact over it to let my skin look flawlessly radiating. Two to three coats of the compact I believe makes it look natural on the skin and does not shine mischievously when one is out in sun. On a humid day, I prefer using compact without foundation to let it absorb the constantly oozing out droplets of sweat. A re-application in a couple hours saves me from the dull sweaty look.

3. Lipsticks/Lip Balms: A baby pink fruity flavoured lip balm is another absolute must have in my makeup kitty. I really feel beautiful pink smooth (not chapped) lips talk a great deal about a women's beauty. I am kind of  addicted to reapplying the delightfully fruity balms and love trying their different flavours. In lipsticks I stick to  matte red and bold pinks and their numerous shades for they kind of accentuate a girl's best asset which undisputedly is her smile.

4. Concealer: I use them to hide my under eye dark circles after a sleepless night as an author or some scars or blemishes and blend them gently into my natural skin tone. A concealer is quite helpful when a sudden pimple pops up or a stubborn burn  leaves its ugly mark behind. I use it rarely though but I ensure I always have one for an emergency and thus always order one more before the current one gets over.

5. Eye Liner/ Kohl: Eyes are a window to a woman's heart, thus how about making them look gorgeous. I beautify my eyes with an eye liner or kohl and some days they alone are my makeup coupled with a lip balm of course. It is always recommended to buy smudge free eye liners and Kajal pencils so that they don't get rubbed into black spots as the hours progress.

6. Blusher: Some days I just love to make my cheeks look crimson and pink like a blushing bride and those are the days I resort to my Blusher though I don't go overboard with it. Just a gentle rub here and there and it's done. It looks awesome when you are dressed in a multi-colour girly attire or when you wish to highlight a  subdued office look in all browns.

7. Moisturiser: Now this is the most Vital of them all as it is the base for everything. I use it in heaps to remove makeup and then reapply it every time  I wash or cleanse my face. It keeps my skin hydrated and keeps its tenderness alive. It's generous application makes me feel soft and huggable at all times. I generally love using baby moisturisers for I love their mild babyish Fragrance.

Do this is all that spells makeup for me girls and I use a particular product only after I have fully researched of its authenticity and genuineness. Can't play with my skin right. A perfect makeup ordered from a perfect online shopping destination makes me flaunt my confidence and euphoria multi fold as I shine and gleam and don my sheen.