Friday 5 April 2024

Diary entry of a teenager’s mom (Pages From the Diaries of Common Indian Women-Chapter4)


In the orientation of class tenth today I, Aditi, met a couple of wonderful moms with whom I left for a cup of coffee where we all discussed a lot of what is happening in our teenagers’ world. 

We all are at a very significant year of our child’s life. They appear for boards this year and the kids and the parents feel the pressure alike. The school adds up with its strict rules and targets. Somehow I don’t find it justified, while it is vital to work hard a balance in life is important at every stage. 

There is so much I learned in today’s casual meet-up as the mothers spoke about how such young children are struggling with anxiety. They don’t have friends and face bias at the hands of teachers and peers in the school. As a person who has known these kids for years, it breaks my heart. A bright kid till about a couple of years back today is anxious to go to school today. The shuffling of the sections has made her lose friends. The advent of puberty and hormones are further adding to her woes. I have seen her shrink from a happy smiley chatterbox to a shy girl who comes and speaks only to her mom. When not in school she is a very happy person taking the lead in all international trips her family undertakes. Still, at school, there is something that kills her confidence and that is passive bullying by her classmates who feel she is an art and design student who cannot answer maths and science questions.

We the extremely educated mothers don’t know the solution as to what to do for the kids and the board exams will only add to the pressure.

There is another kid who is brilliant yet has turned into a recluse in his teenage years. He even fears to share with his mother as he feels she may judge her which she surely won’t but the fear has gone deep in the child’s psyche.

A lot of us also feel that the schools act in their comfort zone they only pick 4-5 kids for everything and the rest don’t get a fair representation. This is the time their confidence needs a boost and the teachers are the best persons to do that because the kids really look up to them. In fact, they must give a chance to more new students so that they come to the same level too because the good ones are already doing well. 

The added confidence will help them perform better in their boards too and the happy hormones of being appreciated will ease some pressure on them. They were always good, they just need a little nudge in the right direction.

Teenage is the years when your children exhibit the first bout of independence and teenage rage and rebellion are not uncommon but as parents, this is the time we must cushion them the most but silently and be emotionally available for them. 

Tell them you have their back and that they can reach out to you whenever they need and don’t create undue pressure on them. Remember we too were anxious before the exams and became fine once they were over. We have to teach our kids to be strong too and the fact that this too shall pass.

While I can give you some recommendations on how we must act, I still need to learn about how the school and society must evolve to become more inclusive. Do pour in your suggestions if you have any and I will ensure they reach where they are meant to. 



Hi everyone, thanks for dropping by, this is my ninth consecutive   #BlogchatterA2Z and global #AtoZchallenge, and this year I am penning  
Pages From the Diaries of Indian Women. In case you wish to check out what I wrote in the last 9 challenges here are the links for 201620172018 2019202020212022, and 2023.

If you like what I write, you can grab copies of my eight published works here: The Fragrance of True LoveDestiny's Favorite ChildDare to Defy The DestinyEmpowered Women Empower Women, Soulful Letters On COVID, for My Future GrandchildI Live to Love YouSoft Strings Of My Heart and Brave Inked Emotions
Also, as the founder of the Endometriosis Support and Awareness Group of India and Emotionally Strong Women Of India, I would love for you to join me in my mission or approach me for any women's health-related (physical/mental/emotional) assistance you seek.

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