Why do men in India don’t learn to bend down? Why aren’t they taught to accept their partner’s viewpoint even when she is right? Why is a loving and caring husband called a Joru ka Gulam and a loving and caring son considered ideal? Why are dads supposed to provide financially for the children? Why must the entire family obey the patriarch?
All this may sound outdated to you but no this is the truth of most Indian households even today and the situation is stifling not only for the family who feel claustrophobic and unable to express themselves and often subjected to mental and physical cruelty but also may be for the man who lives a fake life, happy and gay with his friends and office colleagues but is a changed man at home. Can I give him the benefit of the doubt of having a multiple personality disorder? No, I don’t think so. Then, what is it?
Only yesterday I read a woman’s plea in a FB support group where she was looking to understand what is wrong with her that her husband is exceptionally good to everyone in the world and to her too in front of outsiders but exhibits zero feelings or attachment for her when at home for years. My heart went out to that lady how difficult it must be for her to sail a lonely boat without any emotional support from her partner. What is the partner thinking? It is not necessary that he is having another emotional and physical anchor in his life or he might be having an extramarital affair or maybe none of these options because against all odds, today I am trying to be kind to that man.
I step into his shoes today and I see the world. Does he not feel like cuddling his wife or giggling with his children? Does he just not like to drop the male chauvinism he has been trained for and for once ask his family their wishes and not order his? I am sure he does because he may be battling so much pressure and politics at work and maybe undue domination by people half his caliber. A home is a place where he can exhibit his supremacy without bothering about how this shatters his wife’s heart in a billion pieces or this is what his children are observing and learning. They may rebel one day and flee with their mom at least many feel this way at this tender age. Sometimes he does so to demonstrate his control to his parents and siblings who admire his discipline or he may boast of it in front of his friends over drinks every evening. But in all this what a fake life he is leading? I am worried about his emotional health.
I feel he is bearing the brunt of the harrowing and disturbing patriarchy of India too. Not only does his wife and children deserve all the love, but so does he. Why do you think men have more heart attacks than women? The social stigma must end now, the patriarchy is suffocating. Every child deserves his dad’s love and smile and support to develop strong wings and every wife needs a genuine friend who soaks her in love but above all a husband needs them equally. Only when this unit as a whole is strong can our society become fundamentally strong from its roots. The fakeness needs to melt away.
Hi everyone, thanks for dropping by, this is my ninth consecutive #BlogchatterA2Z and global #AtoZchallenge, and this year I am penning Pages From the Diaries of Indian Women. In case you wish to check out what I wrote in the last 9 challenges here are the links for 2016, 2017, 2018 2019, 2020, 2021, 2022, and 2023.
If you like what I write, you can grab copies of my eight published works here: The Fragrance of True Love, Destiny's Favorite Child, Dare to Defy The Destiny, Empowered Women Empower Women, Soulful Letters On COVID, for My Future Grandchild, I Live to Love You, Soft Strings Of My Heart and Brave Inked Emotions. Also, as the founder of the Endometriosis Support and Awareness Group of India and Emotionally Strong Women Of India, I would love for you to join me in my mission or approach me for any women's health-related (physical/mental/emotional) assistance you seek.
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