Monday 6 September 2021

Leap of faith in Parenting: Letting the kids own their successes and failures

I have always believed parenting can never be taught it can only be experienced and my belief is only being further reinforced by time. But yes I do agree that sharing parental experiences do help, with the statutory warning that no kids are the same and so the parenting styles of two parents can’t be the same either, for them. My parenting journey has always kept me on my toes because of its changing demands with every passing year. Kids grow up that fast. You have no clue when they outgrow your arms and start showing signs of Sensibility and responsibility. Should we be proud of it or sulk at our redundancy. Parents can never be redundant though, no kid on this planet can even do without his parents if he is blessed with them, for as long as he could.

Our task as parents is to give them a strong foundation and then let them be on their own but when exactly do we need to take the leap of faith because whether we accept it or not our kids don’t grow for us. Thus, we will love to keep the protective umbrella open for the longest time. I have always gone by my motherly instinct in taking such vital decisions in my life. No matter what we say there comes a moment in every parent’s life when they know it is time to withdraw and let the kid spread his wings and explore the sky. Let him also learn to fall to the ground so that he knows what it takes to rise up again with double the vigor.

2020-2021, has been this year of transition for me. I have literally sat through every debate, every elocution, or Kahoot exam before that but let me honestly share what I experienced which made me step down as a supportive mother. While trying to prepare him for a twenty-five marks answer for the English Literature Exam I realised our line of thoughts in a particular situation are quite different and I can’t limit his thoughts through mine. While I liked emotional weaves, his writings were more pragmatic. By telling him his answers were incorrect and force-feeding mine wasn’t appropriate and I decided it is time he can manage on his own and I gradually withdrew from teaching him. That was his transition too into independence at academics and co-curricular. I now only help when he asks for it a couple of times. It was a paradigm shift for me because this was also the time we moved from Pune to Delhi and I really wanted him to do good at school and create a first impression. But I felt it was time to let him be on his own as he was ready to own the results of his actions.

In the past year, I have seen him win and lose many national and international competitions but what makes my heart swell with pride is that he has done it all on his own. He has learned to analyze his failures and let go of his successes. Of course, it is just the beginning and he is still learning.

This is why I say it is important for parents to take the leap of faith and let the children own their success and failure, it shall teach them vital decision-making skills and also prepare them for life as they grow up.

So what do I do now? I now just lead by example and not do anything I would not like him to pick up as a habit and vice versa. I love how I am evolving as a parent. So, when for the last six years my kid always saw me writing books, all he learned was he should do the same and this he did in his summer vacations.

Penned his first book, A Magical Conquest, a fantasy fiction for kids above ten.

Without a bias, I loved his maiden attempt. We both, mom-son, have spoken about our journey as authors in Rashi’s Talk Show, Razzmatazz and you will feel the mom in me for the latter part of the interview. Sharing it below. Just re-iterating that had I now taken the leap of faith, he wouldn't have got the courage to pen a book in the genre which is farthest from me. He made experience another beautiful moment in parenting.

This post is a part of  #CauseaChatter Initiative by Blogchatter.

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