Thursday 30 January 2020

#BookReview: CHAOS: In Romance, Sexuality and Fidelity definitely stands out!

You all know my love for books. The book nerd in me had a perfect start of the decade with being a part of the World Book Fair 2020 here in New Delhi from where I grabbed more books than my entire family could carry for me😊. A book is larger than life for me and so far I had kept my experiences with them mostly to myself but now I intend to write my reviews on the chosen few which I feel you must know about and may love to pick. 

So today I am writing on of the recent non-fiction I have been reading. It is

CHAOS: In Romance, Sexuality, and Fidelity 
by Raksha Bharadia 

Honestly, while picking it up I was in two minds as I didn’t know what to expect from it. Its snippets on the web had caught my attention and I am elated that I did choose it because this indeed turned out to be a very well researched book so full of facts which both amuse you as well as make you ponder. Subtle truth you never knew but are worth knowing straight from the experts.

Synopsis of the book

A close look at love, marriage, sex, individuality and infidelity. Most urban couples today experience some amount of chaos in their interpersonal relationships—whether it be in the struggle to remain sexually exclusive, in keeping the erotic spark alive, trying to balance between the need for intimacy and personal space or in handling the new age demon called boredom!

Long-established patterns of married life are breaking down in a new India where gender equality and individualism have blurred the domestic division of labour and leadership, often resulting in ego clashes between partners.. Technological advancements such as birth control, IVF, paternity tests etc., open up options but bring along accompanying complications. It is the same with the Internet and social media. Old rules of couple relationship--both explicit and implicit--do not fit well anymore; new rules are still not in place.

In such a scenario, this book seeks to understand the little equations that go to make up a long-term relationship, thereby throwing light on the steps that, if not well managed, lead to chaos for both partners.
Some of the questions addressed here are: Why do we feel the need to guard our partner’s sexuality? Why does boredom set in, in most long-term relationships? Why do affairs begin and is it really about sex or love at all? And many more such, that deal with the nitty-gritty of day-to-day sharing of the physical, emotional and sexual space between couples.

By the end of this book, you may just revisit all that you have been taking for granted!

My Take on the Book 

Chaos basically talks about the chaos in the romantic and sexual life of a couple as some years pass by. How the desire vanes as does the surprise element out of too much familiarity. The case studies and real-life instances mentioned there so relatable. It also gives practical solutions to reduce the mental clutter in matters pertaining to the heart to a fair extent. 

Some things I really loved about the book is that it talks about women’s suppressed sexual desires quite vocally and many other taboo subjects without an iota of judgment. A peek into the contradictory history of the same was intriguing and I felt enriched. 

I stopped at relevant intervals and discussed some points with my man too and that made the reading quite interesting for me. There were some points I didn’t agree to though but each one of us is allowed to have his or her opinion right or maybe I found the facts too hard to digest😉. Anyways most of the time, I was nodding my head in agreement or was wide-eyed to learn something new and really interesting. The book also refutes the societal laws brutally. 

Full marks to the author for steering clear of any biases in the book whatsoever. She has expressed the pure human emotions without glorifying or demonizing a particular choice. 

All in all, I found this book really different, thought-provoking and helpful too. It definitely is worth a read and is a different experience altogether. This is my second book after Paulo Coelho’s Hippie this year and I am absolutely delighted to give this one a read. 

My Rating of the book 


Grab a copy here

The kindle link here:

Thank you so much, Raksha for sending over a copy for an earnest review.

Truly Yours Roma

If you like what I write, you can grab the copies of my four published ebooks here: The Fragrance of True LoveDestiny's Favorite ChildDare to Defy The Destiny and Empowered Women Empower Women

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