Monday 23 April 2018

Undoubtedly A Bundle of Weaknesses

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Continued from the series 'Some Extraordinary Slices of My Ordinary Life' Part1,  2, 3,4, 5, 6, 7, 8 , 9 ,10, 11,12, 13 , 14, 15 , 16 ,17 , 18 ,19 and 20

I am undoubtedly a bundle of weaknesses hurled together in a tiny packet which is, touch me not, but rarely explodes. Well, they say it isn’t right to expose your weaknesses especially on a public forum but like I say my blog is my most favourite personal space and when I have shared every ounce of my life here why shy away from enumerating my flaws. They are as much a part of me as my strengths and they indeed mean no harm to anyone but yes I find them difficult to change...nevertheless I can’t brag about them for they are the culprits who disturb my peace of mind and even my writing when ever I fall in their trap...

I am a moody brat: At times the usual vibrant me who loves talking and connecting with people feels dull and irritated and avoids contact deliberately. When an extrovert is lonely, her worst gets over her and she sulks further deeper. She further keeps building castles of her fears and all she needs is  someone to just pull her out of her trance but ironically what happens is just the opposite. The person in front naturally feels offended or finds her too arrogant and she too tries avoiding her giving her more space and thus the vicious circle of her mood pulls her far deeper within, with almost suction effect. Earnestly, I would have perished long back under the spell of my mood swings which at times are health related but luckily I some how bounce back and it most often is thanks to a couple of pillars of strength I have in my life, for whom I can’t thank Almighty enough.

I am a paranoid extremist: Though I am a Libran, I am a far away from being a balanced person. I am obsessed with the people or things I love and I absolutely can’t stand anyone or anything whom I dislike. No idea why I am like this but my stubborn heart refuses to budge. If I love someone not only he/she but the entire world knows it and they are a part of my everything. I wonder what and how they feel about it? Similarly, if I don’t like a person(I won’t say hate as I feel it is too strong an emotion and I don’t take my feelings for a person I dislike to that extent), my silence will give away my secret to him/her almost instantaneously. Of course there is a third category with whom I maintain professional relationships for nothing on this earth can affect my work barring my mood sometimes.

I can be controversial: The fact is, I come across people as a very cheerful and smiling person, so they safely assume my life has always been a cakewalk and I am born with a silver spoon. So they find the naked truths in my articles quite controversial but the words I pen are stark realities and I like to put across white as white and black as black. I never argue with such people or fight, even if they are someone I have known, they aren’t worth my time and efforts. I hate giving explanations. I am not arrogant or proud, I am weird. Even in my school, when  as head girl of the school, I did the slow march followed by the four house captains for the flag hoisting ceremony, they complained that I walk as if I was a Queen. I never explained but the truth was that I am pretty short and those boys by chance were all tallies.

I don’t change my opinions: Another unbearable fact about me is, I take a while to make an opinion about a person and once it is made I rarely change my opinions no matter how hard the other person tries. My sincere apologies to them, but destiny has given me this strange power, I can look at a person and know quite a bit about him/her or probably life has taught me this. I have travelled alone from the age of fourteen and if I had not picked this trait early on, you would not be reading me today. 

I am a sensitive mom and wife: Now, this is the trickiest part, my two biggest strength in this universe are also my biggest weaknesses, especially the little one. Even if he get hurt a little bit or is unwell my heart dies a million deaths. I panic and tears well up in my eyes. Though I admit this is the only trait I am getting better at out of all of the he is growing up. Same is the case with S, even when he is on a tour to another country and is unwell, I can’t sleep the whole nights and keep worrying for him. I am desperately sensitive when it comes to these two boys and am the weakest of the lot. Even if they are unwell, they have to take care of me...

The takeaway from this post, please don’t have the above in your personality, they are a spoiler to an otherwise merry and cheerful person which you won’t like to become 😛.

To be continued in the next parts of #SlicesofLife Series on #TrulyYoursRoma in #AtoZChallenge this April.  I am writing on some extraordinary slices from my ordinary life.

Thank you so much for all the love and support you have always given me. Truly Yours Roma is nothing without you! 

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