Monday 11 April 2016

"J"ustified? You're not a woman if you can't bear a Child...

I have this one very close friend I owe my heart to... Her name is Jiya...Single child of her parents , overtly pampered, she wall so full of life...She was also my partner in crime... Together we were like inseparable and could do anything abruptly right from watching late night movie show in pyjamas to gate crashing into a third friend's house past midnight to get notes for the next day exams😊...

Being good in studies we both landed in good jobs and she too got married a couple of years after me...we were in different cities now and somehow I lost touch with her post maternity juggling between work and baby...the last time I had heard from her was when she was promoted and climbing up the professional ladder rather quickly.

It has almost been 5 years from than when I got a FB message from her at 2 am asking for my address and contact number... I normally don't check a ping that late at night but my heart was connected to her...I immediately replied back.

I was flabbergasted to see her the next day...She looked so pale, weak and emaciated...the smile that always lit her face seemed lost forever...she hugged me tight and unendingly tears rolled down her heart bled at her pathetic sight and probably those tears of blood came out of my eyes!

And when I could not hold myself anymore I urged her to share what has happened to her... And I was aghast to hear all that she told me...She told me she has been brilliantly doing at work and was going steady with her loving husband when they gave in immense pressure from family and friends to have a baby... What followed were years of unending mental and physical agony to her...She has difficulty in conceiving and everytime she did her womb wasn't strong enough to bear the baby and had miscarriages...while she kept loosing health and mental balance the pressure from inlaws kept mounting on her... Last time she was carrying , they even made her give up her job to take adequate rest but the baby didn't stay.. Her husband whom she has never seen so desperate for a child before, turned a mare spectator to all this....

She told me that while she always wanted to hold her baby, all her emotions are gradually dying a painful death and all she feels is like a reproduction machine who does not even enjoy or reciprocate her husband's love now...she is often reiterated the fact that she is not a woman if she can't bear a child! She was loosing her mental stability in all this so she has ran away from all of them....In an inebriated state, she kept asking me for days, is she not a woman if she is unable to bear a child ???

While her losses were irreparable, I promised to myself to get Back her to life and I did ... The road was indeed tough but not unattainable...but my question is was this behavior to a wonderful girl like her or to any other Jiya, "Justified" ?

Shouldn't having or not having a baby be a couple's decision at the first place ?

What if a couple can't ?

Is that the end of roads for them?

Is it their crime?

Hold on guys, there are so many little ones waiting for you to hold their hand and brighten their and your lives with their sunshine... All you need it a big heart to accept! And yes, relatives and friends can  interfere to the extend we let them to... So don't blame it on them or for that matter on anyone else and be the master of your own fate!

Author's Note: This Post is a part of #AtoZChallenge 2016 under my theme #FaceofChange

You may also like to read the earlier 9 True Tales of Indian Women in this series, some heart wrenching while some truly inspirational but each giving a genuine lesson...

"A"trocities in The Disguise of Tradition : The Shut Doors

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