Wednesday 19 February 2020

7 Tips for Parenting an Introvert

Parenting itself is I believe the most difficult art or science whatever we choose to call it, with no set rule book despite having the maximum amount of written literature around it. It is undoubtedly to each his own. If there is anything that really works as a thumb rule in parenting, it is a mom’s instinct. But still, it is always worthy to share our experiences and gain some wisdom from other moms. I am blessed to be born in times when we moms don’t shy away from sharing what we have learned the hard way. Every kid is different so the parenting style for each one too has to be unique. Still, it is always comfortable to have a vocal or an extrovert child who can express his anger or happiness or myriad other feelings which the kids profess in words and you can easily act accordingly. But if you are a mom to an introvert the game totally changes. 

Parenting an introvert is a little tricky and a mind game, it requires a lot of patience and planning as well. Sharing in this posts some tips for parenting an introvert. 

Please understand that the introverts don’t lack confidence they are on an average more intelligent and make big in life, they just don’t let their feelings flow out in words that easily😊.

1. Be very patient with introvert kids: Introvert kids do share their hearts with the people they are close to, we just need to be very patient with spending ample amount of time with them to feel comfortable to talk about what’s hidden in the deepest crevices of their heart. Also, when they start speaking try not to interrupt them or direction the talk, if you feel a deep urge to do so, do it only when they are done. In general,  don’t cut them or reply immediately, just let the kids’ words sink in first before reacting or responding.

2. Planning is the key: Along with patience another virtue parents of introverts must practice is sensitivity towards their little precious. Plan small things that give them joy like play dates and aid they open up to their peers. Ensure they play outdoors and attend birthday parties and other family functions. Plan mom’s day out or dad’s day out with them or indulge in their favorite sport with them and share some smiles together. High on a win or weak on a loss, their emotions may just flow out to you along with a few other direct of indirect subtle hints about things you should know about your kid as a parent.

3. Be observant: It is widely believed that actions speak louder than words. Always keep an indirect eye on your introvert kid, sense his discomfort and offer support. Don’t flood him with questions or press the panic button. Stay calm and comfort him and after taking his time he will surely confide in. Give them their space but be aware. Striking a balanced friendship with our tiny tot works wonders too.

4. Take clues: Since your introvert child will never express his likes or dislikes it is important to take clues and respect his opinion which may be different from yours. Sometimes he may be wrong but don’t tell that straight away rather weave it into a story of a boy next door who did a similar thing and how he reaped adverse consequences and leave it there. Your silent child has already absorbed it all.

5. Be involved: All of us, moms, yearn to make our kids independent, however, I feel like Rome was not built in a day this transition too should not happen overnight especially if you have a shy less speaking kid at home. Let him do his work and get involved where you think he is losing track. For some time keep the overall control of things with you and make gaining independence a transient process stretched over a timeline you have set.

6. Take notes: To err is human and as parents, we may go wrong too. Thus maintaining a journal of important points we learned while rearing and grooming our little one definitely comes handy in times when we lose our head and don’t understand how to tackle a super tricky situation. At that time referring to your tips and lessons you have journaled aids you to first attain your calmness and then plan a solution to the problem.

7. Seek help: Sorry for this gender bias,  but a mom is usually the best judge if her kid is simply an introvert or it is something else for which they need help from a psychologist to aid him to untangle the strands of complex emotions he is experiencing. You won’t realize what emotional havoc bullies at school or a bad-tempered teacher can cause to your tender little bud. If your child needs help, don’t shy away from giving it to him. That’s for your as well as his benefit and you will be so happy to eventually see him or her blooming and merry like before.

I hope you can relate to the above... Do share your insights, will so love to read them.

Truly Yours Roma

If you like what I write, you can grab the copies of my four published books here: The Fragrance of True LoveDestiny's Favorite ChildDare to Defy The Destiny and Empowered Women Empower Women

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