Wednesday 19 September 2018

5 Vital Reasons Why You Must Strike A Balance Between Being A Mom and Wife

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5 reasons why me must strike balance between being a mom and wife

I love life. I love people. I love to love and it is what makes me happy. It is how I have always been, it is how I am and it is how I always will be. Very sensitive yet very opinionated, I am a person of my own will who loves to help people, embrace their pains and give them smiles in returns and I love this special ability of mine which comes with a drawback that if I dislike someone I can’t fake my affection to him or her for I associate my emotions with him or her. However lately I have learnt the act of balancing. This destiny’s favourite child in her mid-thirties now feels it is appropriate to establish balance in all walks of her life whether professional or personal. The learning didn’t come from outside but from within, from my learnings in my own relations, two of the most important out of which are being a wife of a wonderful human being and a mommy of a precious little sunshine.

In my last two posts this month in my inspiration series, I have strongly emphasised the healing power of staying positive and happy and how we much worship the shrine of our soul. Again, for our own most benefit we must take ardent care of the valuable relations of our life.

I and S have had a love marriage after several years of being best friends to each other and loving each other unconditionally. I presume of all the things that he would have liked in me, my ability to love him the way no one else ever can, would have struck a chord most with him and my mushy-mushy cuddly love continued after our wedding too. He was the centre of my world and I cared for every tiny need of his to perfection to the point that I almost made him addictive to my love....and when this perfection and addiction was as it’s peak in our rosy world, motherhood knocked at my doors in softest step and changed my world forever.

Baby A arrived preterm and evoked a thousand new tender emotions in me. He tinkled my soul and I was totally immersed and soaked in rearing our little munchkin along with managing my full-time travel based dream job. The centre of attraction of my world now shifted to my little love and in all this, I forgot completely about the man whom I have got so addicted to myself and my love.

I was good, I could love like no one else but there I was far far away from balancing my love. Of course, I loved S but never knew as a new working mom who has just got a C-Section surgery done, I completely overlooked the guy who has stood like a rock for me in thick and thin for so many years. Yes, I reared baby A to a decent level, but never did I realise you can’t take the other relations on your life for granted and focus all your energies on just one. S never made a complaint but would turn hysterical at the thought or discussion of having a second child and I found his behaviour strange. I shrugged my friends if they pointed out that they didn’t see that deep chemistry in our eyes anymore which once used to be our trademark.

It took me years to recognise my folly for I never knew the balancing act despite being a perfectionist. But for the past few years, I have deliberately acquired the skill to balance and oh boy what a remarkable change it has brought to our little family. I have learnt to ensure that none of my relations is getting ignored or crushed or sacrificed for the other.

Striking a perfect balance between being a mom and wife, is no mean task. We all know about it! In fact, many of you have made the mistake I had and messed our life a little bit after having a baby on the marital front but the fact is our spouse is equally valuable and it isn’t appropriate to ignore him or withdraw assuming that he understands. Remember they haven’t undergone the several hormonal changes of bearing a baby and birthing him and still is loving you and the baby the most.

Love him and enjoy his love in return, keep the spark of your relationship alive even if you have to work a notch harder for it. It is all worth it darlings. Remember he is the first love of your life. Enjoy a special date with him for the two of you or maybe watch a movie together asking your friend or relative to take care of kids. I remember catching a romantic movie cuddled in a stole in the morn show as our preschooler went to school. I always feel the time is running out, what we can do as a thirty-something, we might not like doing as a forty-something, thus make the most of every moment.

Another significant reason is as your little one grows he doesn’t learn what you teach him but he learns more what he sees and if he sees a loving and balanced relationship of his mom-dad, that’s the picture that is painted on his mind and he grows up to have similarly balanced relationships in his life.

Be wise and allocate time to your spouse, your child and also don’t forget yourself in a balanced way to make your life beautiful for all of you. The earlier you strike this balance the better it shall be for all of you my dears. Let’s give out a lot of happiness, a lot of love, a lot of positive vibes to the universe and the universe shall flood us back with abundant of it because you get what you give, but never forget the balancing act.
Copyright © 2014-2018 by Roma Gupta Sinha
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