Wednesday 18 April 2018

Quiet: How It Is To Be With A Man Of Very Few Words For Umpteen Years

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Continued from the series 'Some Extraordinary Slices of My Ordinary Life' Part1,  2, 3,4, 5, 6, 7, 8 , 9 ,10, 11,12, 13 , 14, 15 and 16

So, yes, over the time my belief that I am destiny’s most favourite child has only grown more staunch because penning these heartfelt memoirs for the last eighteen days have reinforced my trust on life...that how blessed I am and in fact I recommend each one of you to do write about yourselves for it is at times very vital to bring down your life on a piece of paper. Just try to stay positive while you do so and avoid fault-finding. It not only helps you live your present nicely, for you have really worked hard to be here but also helps you envision and plan your future better...

I am reliving a lot of my past in this series and last night as I closed my eyes, I recalled how umpteen years ago, this young man in his late teens, silently walked into my life. Talking of silence and it can be no one else but S. I could have never ever imagined then this six feet three inches tall man with a peculiar dress sense would persuade me to belong to him forever that too without a spoken word.

Yes, my S is an introvert who keeps most of his deepest thoughts hidden within usually. This is quite unbelievable as he heads Sales which requires him to do a tad bit of speaking and convincing. While he maintains that public demeanour with an avid sense of humour when on work, when in his own space he doesn’t prefer speaking much. Now imagine, I am this extreme extrovert who has a severe need to speak her mind at all times. So I keep speaking and he listens most of the times which at times feel like I am talking to the walls. Isn’t it good if the other person reciprocates too, sometimes, booh (sob)!

Despite of all this how he manages to convey his feelings through his love and care is a deep secret even I can’t fathom till date. He says he loves me way beyond words but I have always felt the need of a verbal expression. He lets his eyes and touch do all the talking while words mean everything for a writer like me. Irony! He was and rather is always a sharp soul, a master mind full of strategies and planning but because he never speaks his family thinks he is as naive and as innocent as a lamb. While the truth is it took him eons to persuade me to be his, his family always felt I have enticed him for their child can never do something as offensive as falling in love. Poor me, has to bear the brunt. Actually I never believed in the institution of marriage and I married him only to keep my best friend mine for the entire life. Well, it’s a different story that I am a die hard romantic today. People change, you see (smile).

I confess for someone like me who pours all her love unconditionally in I love yous and hangs around his neck for most of the time, to be with a man of very few words for almost infinite time now, is crazy. It drives me mad. You won’t know if he liked the breakfast, you, a person with very limited culinary skills, especially prepared for him, juggling the whole of Saturday morn. You won’t know if he is really ok with the real short dress you are donning. Well, there are many advantages to his quiet nature too. While he will never say you look beautiful when you are at your gorgeous best, he won’t either say you look bad when you look a disaster. He would neither stop you from following your heart and will not bury you under harsh words nor would appreciate your awards and recognitions big time, he is always neutral, how cold is that, isn't it? We seldom, very seldom fight.With time,  I too stopped my one directional yelling when I saw little A getting badly affected by mum’s distress.

As a spouse you have all rights to know what your best friend of life thinks of your giving up your career at its peak and embracing writing and becoming an entrepreneur the Academy way. While you soak yourself in your passion, is he even in principle agreeing to your thought process. A sales guy, for him numbers are all that matters, so from earning a hefty salary in MNC jobs to making peanuts a month, does my work look small to him. On very few occasions, I succeed in luring him to share his heart in those special moments and at others when his friends and colleagues introduce me to others at a party or office days with big words of praise and pride, I know it deep within, they all know me through him and this man who never tells me this, is indeed proud of me. I only smile and deep within, my heart and soul do a happy dance. For an extrovert like me this indeed means a lot and at least I find a ray of hope... His parenting style is the best gift of his quiet nature. He is very patient with the kiddo and has taught me by example the right way of nurturing these tiny buds. Though his travel schedules are hectic and he has limited time at home, I make sure I get validated all the big decisions I take from my strategy guy before implementing theme.

We are poles apart and probably that’s what keeps us ticking. When he is not around we, both me and little A miss him a lot but the good part of his travel is we get to hear more of him words on Skype and WhatsApp Calls, which is rare at home 😊

To be continued in the next parts of #SlicesofLife Series on #TrulyYoursRoma in #AtoZChallenge this April.  I am writing on some extraordinary slices from my ordinary life.

Thank you so much for all the love and support you have always given me. Truly Yours Roma is nothing without you! 

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