When I came back to Delhi in 2019 after 9 long years I felt like a fish out of water and 5 years later today, do I still feel so, or has Delhi embraced me, or rather have I adapted to it a little bit…I woke up to this thought after a week-long of a worthwhile Diwali every way. I came to the national capital first as a new bride and now again for the entrepreneurial debut of my spouse and better education prospects for my child.
Life here is comfortable and good but then why do I find myself always running away from this city at first opportunity whether it is to Baroda, Dehradoon, Pune, or Udaipur. Those are honestly the cities of my taste. I somehow don’t feel creatively and professionally challenged in Delhi and am unknowingly getting caught up in the flashy lifestyles here. I don’t get to spend time with the kind of intellectuals and friends I always had in my life and I vaguely try and fit in the business circle I am now a part of which I wonder I ever can. Don’t get me wrong, my friends here are kind, they all love me dearly and so do I but my soul is not satisfied and I wonder what must I do.
From a flourishing career in Tata Motors, Honda Cars, and Ikea of Sweden to running my communication skills academy to publishing my 7 books I don’t know where I am headed. I am again feeling the creative void and in the past, it has made me do some worthy things so I just sit and wait today for the eureka moment. Somehow I feel it will not happen in Delhi but I fail to understand why is such an aversion and I wish it proves me wrong. Delhi is kind, and full of love and life yet I am not sure it can be a creative abode to me.
Maybe these are the years I must go easy on my ambitions and be present for my teen appearing for board exams all 3 coming consecutive years. Maybe these are the years I must invest in planning for my ultimate goals as I love leading a purpose-driven life. Maybe this is God’s way of guiding me to slow down and think for a while. Maybe..only time will tell what is in store for me. Until then I shall be happy weaving tiny joyful moments into sweet memories and trying to adapt to the culture dear without losing my identity.
But honestly, the deep urge to settle down now precedes every other desire. Maybe this is a mature thing or has something to do with the advent of the forties. I have become so selective about where I invest my time and energy and stay kilometers away from toxicity. There are a few things I still need to keep working on like some learning aspirations that still remain. So yes I can use my second innings in Delhi to enrich myself with these courses and amass further knowledge which I am sure will be helpful in my growth and fulfilment of my dreams.
See, so yes, thinking aloud to all of you helps, at least it gives me a momentary solace of getting on the right path and not losing focus midway while trying to reach my ultimate goals 💗
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