Monday 9 October 2023

5 Strong Easy-to-do Ways That Have Prevented Me From Sinking Emotionally In Difficult Times #TrulyYoursEmotionalBlophop

Hello October and my precious people, in this emotional wellness month which also happens to be my birthday month(yes my birthday still excites me), I want to celebrate with you, the joy of being a writer, which gives me wings to express my real honest pure emotions, as much as I want. I attribute my emotional wellness to it. It helps me share my soul with the universe without any fear. The very fact that today I can embrace my emotions is the custodian to the long battle I have had being an emotional person who is known to be vulnerable to the world and who trusts everyone easily. I on the contrary always thought my emotions were my strength. They make me compassionate ever-loving and giving. They also make me cry easily but when my pain peaks my tears dry up like when I lost my mum sixteen years ago. Why does that happen, because we live in denial. I have shared my coping mechanism later in this post, straight from my heart in an endeavor that would help someone in need. 

But before I begin, let me express my heartfelt gratitude to each one of you for all the love you have showered on me on my birthday on the 7th. I feel so blessed and am so overwhelmed with your kindness and love. If one thing I have solely earned by being a writer, it indeed is friends and readers like you who lift me whenever I am down and out, so you too hold the key to my emotional wellness. In this lifetime, I have received the maximum amount of love from strangers who later became more than family to me. It is my deep sense of gratitude for all that has been bestowed upon me selflessly, that genuinely brings me smiling in front of you, every day. That is precisely why I call myself Destiny’s Favourite Child and always strive to do my bit to bring a positive change in the society we live in, no matter how small it is. If I convert the tears of even one pair of eyes into a smile my job is done. 

Coming back to the topic, I do a lot of research and reinvent the wheel so many times and can be preachy with how I have learned to channel my emotions to not pull me down and always show me a way to not succumb and keep soaring in my little ways. I have learned it the hard way and have devised my ways of securing my emotional wellness at all costs. Below I share 5 strong and easy-to-do ways that have prevented me from sinking emotionally in the most difficult times which are a significant part of my personality today.

1. Embrace the situation by taking my own time and not living in denial

When my mom left for the heavenly abode, I was fairly young and lived in denial for a very long time which only accentuated my pain. I thought Mom would come back and I told the same to my little brother too and the wait only multiplied our agony severalfold for years. While I learned to save myself in this situation my brother sank into depression and to date is on medication though in much better mental health. I feel I was so naive back then, when dad remarried, I would have taken better care of my baby brother because it was just the two of us. Life taught me to be stronger from then on and stand up in difficult situations with double the mental power for which the primary requirement is acceptance of the situation at hand and then thinking wisely about how best we can handle it and minimize our pain. 

Denial in other circumstances may have different reasons but we have to gradually meditate, chant, harmonize our energy with the universe, and seek power from the Almighty to help us accept and the sooner we do this the better it will be. My life experiences teach me this and have made me a hard rock that is strong enough to face the harsh testimonies of time and if I can, so can you.

2. Channelizing my energies in a different direction with all my vigor

Pain grips us several times stronger than happiness and the vicious trap almost sucks life out. For a chronic endometriosis patient like me who lives with the extremely painful disease for over fourteen years, my physical pain has made me mentally so weak for so long that I even contemplated suicide, forget about crying endlessly for days and nights, sulking and not being able to get out of bed as the disease crippled me. At some point, my mental pain eventually became more chronic than the physical pain. 

Also, I realized that we can’t endlessly keep talking about our pain to our spouse or friends or anyone as not only may they get bored and consider us attention seekers, but also, our constantly repeating it to ourselves may make us feel more miserable. 

So when in extreme pain I try to get more creative and channel my energies in something more innovative and about which i really feel passionate about. Like when I had a bad bout of conjunctivitis last month I recorded my first podcast. Then in February this year, I completed the manuscript of my 8th book to be published soon when I was bleeding for 45 straight days due to a bad endometriosis relapse post-surgery. 

But because my aim was something else my entire focus remained on staying the most creative and channeling my energies to create a masterpiece, I was left with less time to battle my pain which gradually got better with Ayurveda acting slowly. You can try this trick as well and gradually with practice you will be able to master it for sure. Creativity and passion for something we love help release happy hormones in our body and thus alleviate pain.

3. Spending time with the ones whose presence calms my nerves

 I am gifted with people who genuinely love me and I can love them like no one else myself, but my biggest problem to date is that when I get sad I shut myself from the world, and in times when I need those people the most, I prevent them from all my might, from reaching me. I recede into a shell like this for months and weave weird theories to not allow them in, to the level of frustrating them. 

I am blessed that they still wait for me and do not abandon me. Now, I have learned that I can’t survive without them and am trying hard to give up this behavior of mine because an extrovert like me needs to share, love and live life queensize every moment. I now in my sad moments just ensure that I am in the company of those whose presence soothes me. Today, I seek their forgiveness and promise them never to get back into my shell. 

So, if I don’t answer you, please don’t think it is due to some arrogance or attitude but I must be battling my demons, whose permanent solution as shared by me above, I am finally reaching. 

We must never say no, to true love, and the people who give it to us unconditionally. We must rather be a magnet for such people and love them back with double the vigor. They are our God-gifted emotional support we must never shy away from. For me personally, I love to spread love as much as I can among good people and all around in the universe. All of us together can make this world such a beautiful place

4. Stop the inflow of negative energies and toxicity through zero contact

When my mom left for the heavenly abode and dad remarried, I had a first-hand experience of the toxicity of human relationships from both sides of my relatives and after that, as a straightforward person who does not mince words have been punished several times because I have chosen to raise my voice against the toxic people.

Now, I know it is of no use, their toxicity and negativity will eventually rub on you and make you feel morose and sick. I have distanced from them firmly at the cost of whatever name they and society choose to call me and trust me, my life is so different after this. I have been accused of what not but I proudly take it in my stride because the peace I experience by cutting off the negative people is immense.Their hurtful curt words will no longer break your heart every day nor will the malice in their heart know your whereabouts. I understand it needs immense strength to cut them off as they can be our immediate friends and families but it is possible gradually if you give up on the desire to be good in everyone’s eyes. 

I feel extreme repulsion from such people and identify them from a distance and my action plan to deal with them is to simply stay quiet in their company and gradually vanish from the scene. I have trained my mind such that I don’t talk negatively, I don’t feel negative and I refuse any entry to negativity and toxicity in my life. This is the principle I live by and am extremely vocal about because I know how vital it is for our emotional wellness.

5. Pamper me and do everything I love in my own company

I am a very strong believer in being my own best friend and have genuinely learned to enjoy my own company and how. This is a recent change I guess as I have touched forty. What peace, what calmness this number has brought me, I can’t tell you in words. I have suddenly learned to care less about what the world will think and care more about what I need and I am so happy to be in this space eventually. I have never been like this, I could never say no but today I am assertive enough to say no and genuinely explain the reason because I still can’t offend people. 

I am comfortable now to come out of my comfort zone and look what I did, I penned a murder mystery that most of you can’t associate me with. So yes taking a moment here to announce that I am one of the 15 published authors in the Blogchatter Book of Thrillers. This is my 8th. You can take a sneak peek of my earlier 7 published books on Amazon by searching for Roma Gupta Sinha only if you wish to. This is the maximum I can promote myself but the purpose of talking about them here is that these books that I have penned, first for myself are what make me proud, they prove my self-love that I penned 7 books in different genres in 7 years and self-published them aiming that I will remain alive in these books when I am losing the battle to a crippling disease which has made my weight go up from 59 to 85 in the last one year. 

I still show up every day to you with a smile or 'smiley' if I see you online. This is to secure my emotional wellness because I love writing and talking to people and you guys are kind enough to always reciprocate and pamper me with your kind words. So yes my final mantra is that we must pamper ourselves as much as we can like no one else because if we are happy all is good.  We must do what gives us maximum joy and then soak in that happiness at least for an hour every day.

So to summarise, the 5 pillars on which I rest my Emotional Wellness are: 

  • Love yourself unconditionally 
  • Live gracefully and fully 
  • Remove negativity from your life unapologetically 
  • Enjoy precious company liberally 
  • Smile abundantly

 I trust you would agree with me and will surely add your viewpoint and mantras in the comments, which I am so keen to devour. Thank you so much for being here, your presence means a lot to me, and with lots of love, this is truly yours, Roma, signing off!

Truly Yours Roma

Also, as the founder of the Endometriosis Support and Awareness Group of India, I would love for you to join me in my mission or approach me for any women health-related assistance you seek.

This post is a part of Truly Yours Holistic Emotions Blog Hop by me, Roma Gupta and Rakhi Jayashankar

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