Tuesday, 12 May 2020

What can we do to ensure our sons don’t take the wrong path? Bois Locker Room Controversy (Kids Mental Health Series)



I had a sleepless night when I first read about the Bois Locker Room Controversy. As a women, I was full of angst against these young adults and admonished them for tarnishing and objectifying girls but as a mom I was further devastated as to why the kids are growing up to be such beasts who talk of raping gals like having dinner. Unfortunately,  all of them are from prestigious schools in South Delhi and come from respectable families. Then what went wrong and where?  How have these youngsters become so mentally sick? Yes, it is a kind of mental sickness and one would never know when some of them step into a heinous crime against women. 


What as parents can we do to ensure our sons don’t take the wrong path? 



1. Talk, Talk, Talk to your sons: Be open to talking with your sons from time to time on all that is happening around you appropriately. Communication aids in widening their perspective which may often get limited to what their friends and peers say and they assume that’s the normal. I spoke about this to my son yesterday telling him about this incident and allowing him to ask as many questions he wanted until he was sure what has been done by these boys is grossly wrong. He will be in his tweens in just a few years and I felt this is the right time to start his exposure so that he forms a firm mindset as he grows up. Have a similar talk with your daughters too, give them the mental power through your routine pep talks to raise their voice if they come across anything like this.


2. Teach them to respect girls: Like you teach your son all other good habits, teach them to respect women. Gender Equality needs to me imbibed in them at the basic root level right from when they are very small. Let them equally mix up with boys and girls their age and accept it naturally that they are equal. Don’t let them join only boys groups in class or stay with such boys who  mock or spit venom against the opposite sex. This company shall destroy your innocent child in a few years. Let your son stay clear of such friends.



3. A firm no to Social Media: Teens brains are not mature enough to process and filters all the right and wrong information that floats on Social Media. Let them please remain away as far as possible from it. As their disclaimer too says it is not for them. Nor you need to give your children a phone until absolutely necessary. If you have to keep a tab on it. Parenting is not an easy job, let’s be a little alert, it helps. Our supervision is mandatory in their growing years to set them on the right path if they loose track. The earlier we correct them, the better it will be for them.



4. Timely Sexual Education: You remember that proverb, curiosity kills the crow, that is what happens to many of our children and no I am not at all justifying their actions. Unfortunately, there is no culture in India to impart them with timely sex education which means they are prone to getting right and wrong information in tits and bits from here and there and weave may be an entirely wrong impression of sex from it. So until it happens in schools, we as parents can age appropriately apprise our little ones about it. Every mom and dad know how and when to tell their children about sex, all they need to do is come out of their comfort zone.



5. Let them learn to differentiate between right and wrong: In today’s world, boys are equally susceptible to getting harassed, molested or sexually abused, so we have to teach them clearly to differentiate between the right or wrong whether it is done to them or to others they know. The earlier we start giving them this knowledge the better and I reiterate candid communication around it really helps.



6. Have time for your progeny: This I believe is one of the biggest culprit of these times when we parents have got so busy in our worlds that we prefer giving kids materialistic pleasures instead of right values which requires our time. If you can’t rear your child correctly please don’t bear them. Please try to be around your teens and young adults to guide them, to listen to them and have some fun with them until they feel comfortable to speak their hearts out to you. 



7. Get them professional help at the right time if the need be: Most importantly if you notice abnormal behavior in your son please don’t dismiss it as age appropriate, seek help from a professional who will be the right judge. One of these kids left unattended may grow up into a psychopath and effect so many others.



It is the need of the hour for all of us to raise mentally strong kids and in this Mental Health Awareness Month, I am trying to bring to you some thought-provoking topics around the same. Hope you find them worthy and relatable.


This post is a part of a year long #Causeachatter initiative on Blogchatter where in I will be penning on Women and Kids Mental and Physical Health and Fitness exhaustively.

Truly Yours Roma





If you like what I write, you can grab the copies of my four published ebooks here: The Fragrance of True LoveDestiny's Favorite ChildDare to Defy The Destiny and Empowered Women Empower Women

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