Losing Maa Is Never Easy

When I lost my mom in my early twenties, the wound in my heart didn’t heal for years. The void felt irreparable and I cried at the drop of a hat. I was guilty of what could have I tried differently to save her and not let her leave us at such a young age. She was yet to enjoy her daughter’s professional acumen or her grandson’s first smile. All I wanted to achieve was for her. 

I have seen her go through so much and still groom me enrich me and strengthen me every which way. The wounds don’t heal and though I just don’t speak about them to anyone, I relive the last moments when she left, touching her one last time before her funeral and making her infinite promises silently, so often in solitude and they still hurt so so much.

So much so that even the mention of someone losing a mom perplexes me and I have never attended a funeral or Prayer Meet thereafter for 18 years until yesterday when someone very close to me and a very pure and noble soul lost her mother and I knew I had to be there somewhere behind her in the Prayer Meet praying for her and her mom silently. The Prayer Meet made me miss my mom and relive the same agony of her last moments but miraculously I felt very light after my tears blurred my vision infinite times as soulful bhajans, tribute, and poems by near and dear ones touched all hearts. 

In the deepest corner of my heart, I felt, though it is never easy for any of us to let go of our mother, it was high time I no longer hold on to the sadness of losing her but instead celebrate her greatness and set her spirit free from my heart. 

I know she agreed with me because I saw her yesterday night in my dream for quite some time smiling and cracking a joke sending us all in splits with her wise sense of humour. I was thrilled to regain my mamma and I think I healed a bit after seeing her in her favorite sari, bob hair, and most importantly her infectious smile. I lost my mom in 2006 and I got her back yesterday. 

So many happy memories of her are flooding my heart since then and my feelings just made their way to this tribute for all the mothers in this world. I know losing our mom is never easy but let us try not to lose her but instead let her live as our guiding light in our hearts, forever smiling.

If you like what I write, you can grab copies of my eight published works here: The Fragrance of True Love, Destiny's Favorite Child, Dare to Defy The Destiny, Empowered Women Empower Women, Soulful Letters On COVID, for My Future Grandchild, I Live to Love You, Soft Strings Of My Heart and Brave Inked Emotions. Also, as the founder of the Endometriosis Support and Awareness Group of India and Emotionally Strong Women Of India, I would love for you to join me in my mission or approach me for any women's health-related (physical/mental/emotional) assistance you seek.